OMFG. No, I really mean it.

People who are into art know that there is a large hole that needs to be filled in our understanding of great painting.  What can fill that vast chasm, you ask?  Naked Pictures Of Obama With Unicorns, of course.

Spoiler Alert:  This shit is not safe for work, but they are completely safe for mockery.  Don’t scroll down if your squeamish or closed minded or not into the pure awesomeness of unicorns.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stole this shit from Ace.

How I imagine the Obama/Crowley/Gates White House Kegger

 

Total sausage-fest.

Top 10 Hottest People on Capitol Hill, according to The Hill

Politics is show biz for ugly people.  Even though everyone knows this, Beltway publications frequently compile lists of the best looking people in Congress, Senate, Executive branch, blah blah blah.

The thing that gives it away is that the rags don’t just limit the search to elected office-holders.  They sorta cheat by adding in Congressional staffers, Supreme Court clerks, White House peeps and other federal cling-ons to increase the odds of stumbling over a person who looks like a recognizable human being.

The Hill just released their top ten list.  By and large, I agree.  But check out numero five-o:   

Come onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn, Hill-dweebs.  You can’t make me buy that lot of nonsense.  There is not enough camera tricks, air-brushing and photoshop in the galaxy to make Maxine Waters look good.  I wouldn’t hit that with Hilary Clinton’s dick.

Why Moderates/RINOS are flaming dorks

The Mark Levin/David Frum Dust-Up of 2009 (see here, here, here, here, here, here, and here) has made for some theater over the past few months. 

My question is…what is the point of David Frum?  What is the point of the existence of his New Majority?  Let’s break down one piece of David Frum’s platform.  On the environment, DF would have the GOP and conservatives cede ground to the left.  What would that look like?

That would most likely mean going along with some form of cap and trade, because everyone knows that anthropogenic climate change is settled science [sarc/].  The bill that was passed in the House, besides addressing something that has no scientific consensus, would choke-slam the US economy.  It would (among many bad things) pick winners and losers in the business world, federally subsidize at large expense so-called green jobs and raise taxes-and therefore prices-on nearly everything and everybody. 

So, for a party that is supposed to be a proponent of free markets, small unobtrusive government and low taxes, cap n’ trade can only be viewed as a massive sell-out.  Naturally, it would alienate large swaths of the current Republican coalition.  Of course, the GOP would win over far more people to the new majority than would be pushed out of the party by this new direction on environmental policy, right?

That is a highly doubtful proposition.  There is absolutely no way that any great numbers of the Earth-first left would suddenly start pulling the Elephant lever at the polls just because the GOP signed on to cap and trade.  This is because the environmental movement looks at cap and trade as a half-assed half measure.  The Republicans would just look like, you guessed it, half-assed corporate shills to the tree-huggers.  Which is pretty much how the eco-nuts look at the GOP now. 

What about the non-political moderates/undecideds/centrists?  Surely they’d come to the Republicans because of this new stance on the environment.  Maybe at first, but that would surely change once the highly craptastic effects of cap and trade start working on the economy.  When the price of gasoline, home heating oil, electricity and every other thing that relies on energy goes through the roof, it’s doubtful the Republicans are going to get credit for their good environmental intentions.  More likely, the GOP would catch hell for going along with Henry Waxman’s dream legislation.

And again, remember that going along with cap and trade would mean shedding chunks of the GOP base.  Those voters have to be replaced and then added to by incoming voters in order for David Frum’s designs to work out to a new majority.

So other than shrinking the party and thus sinking any chance of…you know…actually winning elections any time soon, the New Majority is a great plan.

Shakira + Danzig = Totally Rad

For teh brewtal ol’ skool metal-hedz.

“ANTIPASTO!”

Thoughts on the gal who called 911 on Skippy Gates

 Lucia Whalen, the lady who made the 911 call that eventually ended in Skippy Gates getting cuffed and stuffed, made a statement the other day.   I was struck by this little nugget:

The criticism at first was so painful I was frankly afraid to say anything. People called me racist. Some even said threatening things that made me fear for my safety,” said Whalen, whose husband, Paul, put his hand on her shoulder in comfort her as she spoke. “I knew the truth, but I didn’t speak up right away because I did not want to add to the controversy.”

Watch the video.  Homegirl is freaked out.  I gotta say, I would be too.

Imagine.  You’re chilling out at your home, when you see two guys trying to muscle their way into a neighbor’s house.  Because you have only limited time-sensitive information to go on, you have a few options.  You can go into the kitchen, make yourself a grilled cheese sandwich and hope to see the neighbor’s place get emptied out by the crooks.  You can hide under your sofa and hope the bad guys stay away from your place.  Or you can do like the vast majority of people would do and call 911.

Race has little to do with anything in this situation.  By calling the cops, you’re being a solid citizen and a good neighbor.  You’re also working in your best interest because you don’t want your house to be the next pad burglarized.  In other words, you’re doing the right and moral thing. 

Back to Whalen.  The fact that she got her safety threatened by people who think she was being  a racist is pathetic.  “Don’t be a bigot or we will knock your teeth out.”  If you’re super-dee-dooper offended by racism, does threatening someone with bodily harm make any sense?

I mean, unless you’re Steven Segal in ‘On Deadly Ground’, you can’t beat prejudice out of someone.

This Limey actually gets it

Watch.

I caught this one over at A Western Heart.

Wanna see a liberal dicknose set himself up for a fall?

Paul Krugman, a former Enron employee, has a full-on New York Times chubby for Obama’s health care plan.  See what happens when he asks a group of Canucks the wrong question about their craptastic nationalized medicine system.

Found over at Vodkapundit.

Limbaugh on lefty predictions

El Rushbo:

We group ourselves and we become victims.  That’s how we’re set up, that’s how we’re encouraged to act.  And the latest group, smokers, the fat, the obese, or what have you, these are all political calculations by a bunch of shysters who don’t care what you think.  All they know is that they can make you hate smokers, and they can make you go along with massive tax increases on smokers, and 50 years ago, 30 years ago they told us that if we just cut smoking in half, look at all the health care costs we would save.  And we’d get rid of all the secondhand smoke and people wouldn’t die.  Well, we’ve cut smoking in half, maybe more.  Have the costs of health care gone down?  Did anything they promise ever come true?  Or is it always just the opposite? 

Just to be clear-I don’t think Limbaugh is making arguing for causation, IE we cut smoking rates and health care costs went up because many Americans quit smoking.  I think there might be a case for that, but that’s not Limbaugh’s argument. 

I think his greater point is that the predictions laid out by the various liberals and liberalish governments regarding health care costs have been proven fantastically wrong.  Even with all the nagging and nanny-state tomfoolery that has cajoled and guilt-tripped people to stop smoking, health care costs have still gone up.

Why should we then listen to them now when they make predictions about socialized medicine?  Its fairly obvious that liberals refuse to understand Economics 101.  Well, what is government-run health care if it isn’t a massive economics project?

You wouldn’t trust a lawyer to replace your roof because by and large attorneys are not good at laying shingles.  Why then do we have any faith in politicians, especially left-wing ones, to make predictions about something as complicated as the United States health care system?

Policy Junk Translated

Dan Riehl finds a handy translator for when moron politicians want to pull the wool over your eyes and steal more money from you.

First Word:  Stimulus.

While I think this great, I think it would’ve been even better had it been available in say…January or February.

John Conyers: Reading is not fundamental

Ah, the delicious irony is especially sweet in this one:

During his speech at a National Press Club luncheon, House Judiciary Chairman John Conyers (D-Mich.), questioned the point of lawmakers reading the health care bill. 

“I love these members, they get up and say, ‘Read the bill,’” said Conyers.  “What good is reading the bill if it’s a thousand pages and you don’t have two days and two lawyers to find out what it means after you read the bill?”

If a bill is a thousand pages long and you’re voting on it two days after it’s been introduced, I think that’s a pretty good sign you’re fucking up somehow.

Then again, maybe that’s part of the plan.  Compare Senator Obama in 2004 to President Obama in 2009.

Stay focused on the right hand, while the left is robbing you blind.

Archeological evidence of Twitter Finally Found

Manhattan Infidel is on the case.

The social networking and blogging system Twitter has become a worldwide phenomenon.  What many do not know is that is it not a new one.  Indeed, archeologists are discovering evidence of “tweets” throughout time.  Many historical figures have Twittered, giving scholars valuable insight heretofore unknown.  This tweet from 20,000 B.C.E  from “Grog0266″ is the earliest recorded one:

“Gorgak think he big.  Invent wheel.  Me sleep with gorgak’s wife.”

In 480 B.C.E. King Leonidas twittered, “What’s up dudes?  I’m slaughtering Persians and looking bitchin’ doing it.”

From 44 B.C.E Julius Caesar’s tweet reads, “Ides of March here. Still alive.  Hey, there’s Brutus.  Safe around good friends.”

Read the whole thing.

Cambridge Police Sgt. Crowley has awesome coworkers

“If you’re looking for postracial America, you’ve found it.”

Allahpundit nails it.  Seriously, click that link and watch the video.

The other part that AP gets right is the massive amount of shit Sgt. Lashley and Officer King will take from the likes of racial greivance-mongers like…oh say…Skippy Gates.  The soft whispers of ’Uncle Tom’ will drop from the likes of Michael Eric Dyson, Cornell West and Major Lewis. 

The thing is, I think these two cops know this.  The fact that they and the rest of the Cambridge police still decided to stand by Sgt. Crowley in the midst of unbelieveably prominent pressure says something very positive about Crowley.  It also says something about the courage of his fellow officers.

Republicans = Cold-Blooded Assassins

Just in case you didn’t see this gem:

Pundit and Pundette found that in the Washington Post. 

I dunno what message the artist Danziger is trying to send here.  I mean, he subtly places DeMint in a tenement with a sniper rifle, which of course is not reminiscent at all of the Martin Luther King assassination.  The cartoon caption coyly lists Senator DeMint’s party affiliation.  You hardly even realize that Danziger is basically calling Jim DeMint a racist bent on murder. [sarc/]

What I think the cartoon really speaks to is the insecurity of this artist about Obamacare in particular, and St. Barry in general.  Barack’s poll numbers have taken a hit recently.  The self-inflicted Gates fiasco and the bathtub fart press conference on health care have soured some people on the Obama administration.

As I said a while back, if and when Obambi’s number start to go south, the Democrat Party publicity agents-the mainstream media-were going to roll out the heavy guns in defense of their homeboy.  The biggest gun they have is the racism charge.  This cartoon is just the beginnings of that tactic-”Look at the kook racist Republicans!  They’re against Obama because they’re bigots!”

If it isn’t blindingly obvious to everyone by now, Obama is not the post-racial president some Americans thought they knew.  The dust-up over the President’s pal Skip Gates should kill the myth of Barry as some kind of ethnic healer figure.  Knowing that, we can safely assume that Barack and his media cronies will go hard on the haterade if they feel they have to.

The Smartest Woman In the Whole World

If you’re wondering why this person can’t spell, it’s not because she’s a dim-bulb tinfoil hat retard.  It’s because her message is so important, she couldn’t wait around for proof-reading.  This massive conspiracy could be killing hundreds, thousands or even millions of people; you expect her to dick around with spellcheck?

Ripped off from Ace.

Tim Geithner: Reluctant Landlord

Guess which tax-cheat Treasury Secretary can’t sell his house?

After leaving the tony New York City suburb of Mamaroneck to take his new post in Washington, D.C., Geithner put his five-bedroom Tudor home on the market for $1.635 million.

That was in February. By May, he cut the price $60,000 but still got no takers. A few weeks later, May 21, the home in New York’s Westchester County was reportedly rented for $7,500 a month.

Cry this hypocritical ass-clown a river.

Here’s the real kicker.

And while $7,500 a month might seem a lot to rent Geithner’s 3,600-square-foot home that includes an eat-in kitchen with black granite countertops, it probably falls short of his monthly expenses for the house.

A Tale of Two States

From the dude that brought you the debt road trip, here’s Political Math’s latest batch of win: 

The lengths people go to get rain

Naked ploughing.  Is that a single entendre?

Farmers in the eastern Indian state of Bihar have asked their unmarried daughters to plough parched fields naked, in a bid to embarrass the weather gods to bring some badly needed monsoon rain.  Witnesses said the naked girls in Bihar state ploughed the fields and chanted ancient hymns after sunset to invoke the gods…

‘They believe their acts would get the weather gods badly embarrassed, who in turn would ensure bumper crops by sending rains,’ Upendra Kumar, a village council official, said from Bihar’s remote Banke Bazaar town.  ‘This is the most trusted social custom in the area and the villagers have vowed to continue this practice until it rains very heavily.’

If that’s the sure-fire method of getting rain, I’d hate to see what these people do when all else fails.

I guess different cultures have different ways of dealing with droughts.  In the US, the municipal and state governments tell you not to water your lawn.  In India, naked girls plow crop fields. 

Whatever soaks your farmland.

Fun With Former Honduran Wanna-be Dictators

The hi-jinks continue in Honduras.  Our amigo Manuel Zelaya sure is a brave dude.

On Friday, Mr. Zelaya triumphantly lifted a chain marking the frontier and took a few strides into Honduran territory, where the interim government has charged him with violating the constitution and has vowed to arrest him.

He retreated into Nicaragua less than 30 minutes later. Soldiers did not approach him Friday at the remote mountain border crossing.

So basically, the guy ran across the Honduran border at a point that is relatively unguarded, then courageously turned his tail and fled back to Nicaragua. 

I like how the US State Department is just now figuring out that homeboy is not quite stable.  Pretty soon, they may start thinking Kim Jong-il’s elevator doesn’t go up all the way up to the penthouse.

How Not To Get Your Ass Kicked By The Police

Chris Rock makes a lot of sense here.  Henry Louis Gates, please watch for next time.

Check out the starring role for Darnell from ‘My Name is Earl” fame. 

Tip o’ the cap to Cedar River Salmon.

UPDATE:  Treacher-lanche.  Sweeeeeeet.  Welcome ya’all.  Make yourselves at home.  I’ll make some bacon.