Nobel Prize Winner and Notable Former Political Figure Likes Da Sexxxy Time

Al Gore:  Lady’s Man.

      The masseuse told investigators about an evening massage session during which Gore allegedly became enraged at times and tried to gain sexual favors from the woman.
       “I was shocked and I did not massage beyond what is considered a safe, nonsexual area of the abdomen,” she said. “He further insisted and acted angry, becoming verbally sharp and loud.”
      “I went into much deeper shock as I realized it appeared he was demanding sexual favors or sexual behaviors.” The woman said Gore grabbed her hand and shoved it toward his pubic area.
      She alleged he later tried to have sex with her and began caressing her before she squirmed out of his grasp.

What’s really cool?  This incident allegedly occurred in 2006.  So America gets the scoop on this minor little story a mere 4 years after the fact.  Anybody want to guess how long we’d have to wait if this was a Republican?  I’d say the press would be off to the races in about 4 minutes-tops. 

I’m gonna think about the liberals in my audience here for a second.  Al Gore has been a cult hero for the progressives ever since he threw a temper-tantrum over not winning the Florida vote count in Election 2000.  It would’ve been very helpful for the American left if they had been made aware of their super-genius savior’s monumentally horrible personal behavior.

If history has shown us anything, it’s that liberals are deathly afraid of not acknowledging their heroes’ character flaws.  [sarc/]

Update:  RSMcCainiac-lanche!  Thanks to Senor McCain himself and TOM readers for stopping by.  Go ahead, make yourself comfy and take a gander at my old nonsense.