My blog-homie Annoy The Left returns from hiatus with a warning:
Dear Republican Party,
If you nominate Mike Huckabee or Mitt Romney in 2012 I will officially disown you. I will disregard all warnings against supporting a third party. I will throw all the weight I have behind the most conservative, probably Libertarian, candidate that I can find and I’ll drag as many voters with me as I can muster. I can assure you that I won’t be the only one to do this.
Nailed it.
In fact, none of the GOP candidates who ran in 2008 need to even bother. They all suck.
Fred Thompson: Right on the issues, wrong on nap-time.
Ron Paul: Has intelligent ideas about fiscal policy, but can the GOP expect to win with a dude over three quarters of a century old against the relatively youthful Obama?
Duncan Hunter: Cool dude. Not bad on any big domestic or foreign issue. The trouble is that the guy has absolutely no pizzazz. That a smart, reasonable and competent man like Hunter is too boring to get elected says something pretty bad about the American electorate, but that’s the reality of the situation.
Rudy Giuliani: Oh Lord. Pro-abortion, anti-Second Amendment and during the campaign he couldn’t get out of his own way. The ‘Wait till Florida to compete’ primary strategy will go down as one of the spectacularly bone-headed political moves in the history of politics.
John McCain: The GOP base can barely stand the guy being a Senator in Arizona. The Republican rank-n-file sat on their hands when he ran the ‘Let’s Be Nice To Barack’ campaign in 2008. They’ll do the same in 2012. Oh yeah, he was BFF’s with John the Baptist and had a doe-eyed crush on Catherine The Great when they both had 5th period chemistry in high school.
Mitt Romney: ObamaCare is basically RomneyCare writ large. America shouldn’t have to choose between a Republican liberal and Donkey-Puncher liberal. Also, Romney is a bloodless technocrat who has a very iffy relationship to the pro-life cause. He’d be the perfect CEO of an advertising firm in 1960.
Mike Huckabee: He’s a clever fellow who’s quick with a joke. He’s also the second coming of compassionate conservatism. Go to the back of the short bus, sit down and shut the hell up.
So I’ll go one better than Annoy The Left. If the GOP nominates any of those 2008 clowns, I’m tapping the fuck out on the Republican Party. Not only that, I’ll use this rinky-dink blog to convince anybody and everybody I can to vote for an independent in 2012.
I really don’t want Barack Obama to be president anymore. He makes Jimmy Carter seem like a genius. Unfortunately we have to wait till 2012 to unelect the Teleprompter-Reader In Chief. None of last election’s GOP candidates have a Detroit Lions’ prayer of beating the President. That means I refuse to be part of any dumb-shit quixotic campaign that’s doomed to fail. Just because the homeboy running against Obamster happens to have an ‘R’ behind his name doesn’t mean I have to jump on board a ship with more holes in it than the golf course at Pebble Beach.
