Blog de KingShamus

"When an entire nation thirsted to break free from PC…Andrew Breitbart opened a big bar."–Chris Muir

Archive for March, 2012

Support Conservative Political Mommy Bloggers!

Posted by KingShamus on March 31, 2012

I like conservatives.  I like mommies.  Vote for them?  Sounds like a plan to me.

Are you a mom blogger who is passionate about politics? We’re looking for moms all over the political spectrum who discuss and debate current events on their blogs.

We are trying to promote and recognize the work of moms who blog with this contest, rather than blogs that are intended for mom readership. Therefore, this contest is only open to moms.

To ensure that votes are fairly acquired we do not allow for any prizes or giveaways in exchange for votes.

Help us find the Top 25 Political Moms – 2012 by Apr 4, 2012 at 4pm PST by voting once every 24 hours for your favorite blog. All votes acquired through bots (or any other unfair voting mechanism), and blogs that do not fit in this category will be removed before the list is finalized.

Okay, peeps.  We’ve got a few days to rock the vote.  Lets do it.  

Who should you vote for?  Several  choices spring to mind.

No One of Any Import has been a blogger homie for a long time.  I steal quote her stuff all the time.

Sitting On The Edge Of The Sandbox, Biting My Tongue has one of the best blog titles ever.  She’s also good for an insightful read every time I click on her page.

The Lonely Conservative, a conservative gal in the People’s Republic Of New York, has been a twitter pal of mine for a while now. 

Zilla of The Resistance resists bonehead liberalism with a deftly wielded beatdown hand.    

The one and only Political Junkie Mom does great work, even if she is hopelessly addicted to her conservative blogging habit.  ;-p

Little Bytes News is another cool right-of-center mommie who I first talked to on Twitter.

Melissa Clouthier is a great blogger who has become a force to be reckoned with in the Twitterverse.

The thing I get out of this is just how deep the right-of-center side really is.  We don’t have a lot of rigid ideologues on our team.  Instead, we have great writers who use their experiences–in the case, as mothers–to inform their conservatism.  That means that the Right gets a broad range of thinking on a variety of subjects, not blinkered dogmatic hammer heads.

In any event, go ahead and clickie on that Top 25 Political Moms linkie and vote for your favorite conservative mommies.  It costs nothing and it recognizes the great ladies who write for the Right side.  That’s a win-win in my book.

Posted in Domestic Happenings, The Social Scene | Tagged: , | 11 Comments »

Ameritopia and the Fable of The Frogs

Posted by KingShamus on March 30, 2012

No, not that kind of frog

I just finished reading Mark Levin’s “Ameritopia” a few days ago.  I might give it a proper book review, but in case I don’t let me just say that it’s a tremendous piece of work.  If you want to understand how the Left has crafted their gaseous dreamy ideology, you need to read “Ameritopia”.  It’s that good.

As Levin surveys the modern US political system, he makes a remarkable observation.

America has become a society in which the people are wise enough to select their own leaders, but too incompetent to choose the right lightbulb.

Knowing this painful truth, the question becomes:  Is this schizophrenic situation tenable in the long term?

No One Of Any Import has an answer for us with her translation of the old Aesop’s fable of the frogs who desired a king.

  Here is Caxton’s original translation, circa 1484. It’s my favorite version, but man oh man that’s some crazy Olde Englishe. Let me rephrase:

There were once some frogs who lived in liberty, but they wanted a king. They asked Jupiter to give them a king. They asked in one voice–no dissent, so it was all democratic and everything. Now, Jupiter knew these frogs weren’t the smartest bunch. So to placate them, he sent a piece of wood which splashed loudly in the pond.

This commotion scared the frogs at first. They approached their king cautiously, to make obeisance to him. When they realized their new ruler was just an ineffective lump of wood, they weren’t happy. They went back to Jupiter and asked for a better king. Jupiter was like, fine. And he sent a Heron to be their king.

The Heron flew down and began to eat the frogs, one after another. The frogs began to cry, and they begged Jupiter to deliver them from the throat of this tyrant. Jupiter replied, tough. The king which you demanded shall be your master.

There is a significant portion of the US population–like, oh say, 21 percent–that pines for a monarch.  For the most part, rank-n-file liberals are perfectly content to live within the current spongy pliable despotism.  Give them a vote, especially one where the electorate gets to choose between Barack Obama’s moderate pragmatic ultra-leftism or Noam Chomsky’s more ambitious super-mega-insane-o-leftism, and most progressives would cream their jeans.  In return for that, the progs would joyfully accept the State making them buy the Earth First!/politically-correct/militantly-inoffensive/gluten-free/compact flourescent version of everything.

The problem is that the statists are not satisfied with the current arrangement. Everything, even ObamaCare, is seen as merely a stepping stone paving the way for the next massive government usurpation of the citizens’ rights.  At some point, if the American people do not put a stop to this, the socialists who wield power in our government won’t be satisfied allowing the subjects to take part in an election every four years while simultaneously mandating how Americans are to light their homes.

The current arrangement cannot hold for much longer.  America has spent too much money and thrown away too many freedoms and gone too far down the road to serfdom for this situation to continue.  Either we’re the free people the Founders intended us to be or we’re the fat dumb belching frogs waiting to be consumed.

Posted in Domestic Happenings | Tagged: , , , , | 8 Comments »

The Supreme Court, ObamaCare and the Desperation Of The Left

Posted by KingShamus on March 29, 2012

Jeff Goldstein, kickin’ it on the satirical tip over at Protein Wisdom, gives us a sneak peak into the likely liberal reaction if ObamaCare gets overturned.

See? There’s that far-right extremist conservatism again, insisting that laws must be followed to the letter, and not simply be ignored to accommodate the spirit of “social justice”.

They fetishize a document, and yet they care not for 26-year-old children forced (by choice) to live without health insurance! It’s an abomination. And I think it is the kind of decision, should this be the Court’s final ruling, that, like Citizens United before it, suggests that the Court can no longer be trusted to act compassionately, and can therefore be ignored.

For the greater good.

After all: the ruling is just words. And the only power they have, really, resides in our willingness to accept them and/or enforce them. But who says we have to do that…?

That’s just crazy, right?  Would a President really just ignore the Supreme Court, a coequal branch of the federal government, just to get his way?

President Andrew Jackson dismissed the Supreme Court’s decision in the Worcester v.  Georgia case. This paved the way for the removal of the Cherokee Indian tribe to Oklahoma.  Jackson basically told Chief Justice John Marshall and the rest of the Supremes to blow it out their collective ass.

Besides the Jacksonian precedent, it’s easy to forget all that would be lost for the Left if ObamaCare gets annihilated.  How long has the progressive movement wanted a nationalized health care system?  Harry Truman called for it back in 1945.  ObamaCare represents a liberal dream come true nearly seventy years in the making.

Besides that, what did it cost the Democrats to get their health care plan passed?  The Louisiana Purchase and Cornhusker Kickback revealed the level of corruption the Democrat Party was willing to stoop to in order get their way.  The political drubbing the party took in the 2010 midterms displayed the Party’s willingness to endure a brutal self-flagellation in service to the cause of socialized medicine.

Seen in that context, who thinks the President and the rest of the Stalinists are going to lay down and accept the Supreme Court striking down ObamaCare?

It could be a 5-4 decision.  It could go 6-3.  Hell, it could be a 9-0 decision to vaporize the bill.  It doesn’t matter.

The Left won’t allow some silly old enumerated powers shit get in the way of getting their way.

This is going to require a Republican Congress and a Republican president and probably another originalist Supreme Court justice to finally kill ObamaCare–and that still might not be enough.

Posted in Domestic Happenings | Tagged: , , , , , | 6 Comments »

Just Deserts Watch–Soledad O’Brien’s Ratings Crater (Now With Super-Dooper Edited Headline!)

Posted by KingShamus on March 28, 2012

Couldn’t have happened to a nicer lefty-pimp.

Executives at CNN must be in shock at the catastrophic implosion of their morning lineup, as Starting Point With Soledad O’Brien (7-9 a.m. weekdays) recorded the cable network’s lowest ratings for that time slot in more than a decade. Fewer than 100,000 adults 25-54 tuned in to O’Brien’s program on an average day, according to the latest quarterly Nielsen numbers.

Since you probably don’t recall Ms. O’Brien’s claim to fame–and since it’s clear you don’t watch her crappy left-wing political blog disguised as a cable TV news show–here’s a brief refresher.

The hilarity of this clip is an all you can eat buffet of fail:  Soledad getting the Wikepedia definition of critical race theory pumped into her earpiece by her flunkie producer, f-list actor Jay Thomas accusing Joel ‘Ummm, My Wife Is Black’ Pollak of racism, Soledad’s sneering through her ball-numbing stupidity.

The best part is how O’Brien defiantly refuses to get the joke.  She insists that Pollak is trying to make a grand statement about the nature of Barack Obama as a callow youth.  The clip of Obama palling around with deranged racialist Derrick Bell merely confirms what most conservatives already knew about the future leader of the free world.

Instead, Soledad O’Brien keeps taking the bait.  In the process, she proves Joel Pollak’s larger point (and the late Andrew Breitbart’s too).  It’s not really the President that needs to be vetted.  It’s the liberal mainstream media that sorely requires a head to toe examination.

Did O’Brien’s run-in with Joel Pollak have something to do with her slide into obscurity?  Maybe.  It sure as shit didn’t help.

Don’t cry for Soledad, though.

Al Gore can always use a replacement anchor for when Keith Olbermann throws another temper tantrum at Current TV.

UPDATE:  Linked at AceOfSpadesHQ.  Muchas gracias, Morons!

Thanks to RDBrewer, who you should follow on Twitter right now.

Posted in Media Silliness | Tagged: , , , , | 16 Comments »

Barack, Trayvon and The 2012 Election

Posted by KingShamus on March 27, 2012

In light of recent events surrounding the death of Trayvon Martin, I’d like to bring up something I wrote a few years back.  I was making predictions about how I thought Barack Obama’s presidency would end.  I think I might have lucked into being onto something.

As Obama spins his wheels, his most vocal and loyal bloc-the American mainstream media-attempt to bolster their candidate.  The White House and the journalist caste create the myth that Obama is the victim of lingering racism.  Nearly any lack of support for Barack’s policies will be explained with charges of bigotry.   

Ironically, the post-racial candidate of 2008 will morph into the most explicitly racialist American politician in a generation…He limps through 2011 and 2012 as a dead duck.  As he goes down, he sows the seeds of racial discord, grasping at anything to get him re-elected.

Now look at what President Obama’s comments on the shooting.

“I can only imagine what these parents are going through,” Mr. Obama said from the White House Rose Garden, “and when I think about this boy, I think about my own kids, and I think every parent in America should be able to understand why it is absolutely imperative that we investigate every aspect of this and that everybody pulls together, federal, state and local, to figure out how this tragedy happened.”

Mr. Obama said he is glad the Justice Department is investigating the shooting and that Florida Gov. Rick Scott formed a task force in response to the incident as well. The president suggested he was sympathetic to suspicion that the shooting may have been racially motivated.

 “You know, if I had a son, he’d look like Trayvon,” Mr. Obama said.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have officially reached the David Dinkins stage of the Obama presidency.

For those of you unfamiliar with old school Empire State politics, David Dinkins was the mayor of New York City before Rudy Giuliani.  Mr. Dinkins, a black man and veteran New York pol, promised racial healing in the five boroughs.  He presided over, among other things, the lynching of Yankel Rosenbaum during the Crown Heights riots by a group of thugs incited to violence by that paragon of ethnic tolerance Al Sharpton.  

Mayor Dinkins’ police commissioner Lee Brown said: 

“Sharpton came close to the line of inciting [to riot] but did not actually cross it.”

Well, thank God Al Sharpton didn’t go nuts or something bad could’ve happened.  [sarc/]

After the Yankel Rosenbaum murder, Mayor Dinkins became a polarizing figure.  Jewish voters, who had supported him in the past, now viewed him with suspicion.  Dinkins’ 1993 re-election effort was marked by racialism.  Black voters were supposed to support Dinkins because…he was black.  The undertone of the campaign was that failure to support the mayor over Rudy Giuliani was a sign of barely concealed racial bigotry.

In the Trayvon Martin shooting incident, we can see the same pattern emerging.  Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson are on the scene stoking racial tensions.  The New Black Panthers are offering a million dollar bounty for the capture of George Zimmerman, the man who shot Trayvon.

Into this incredibly heated and rapidly evolving situation, what did Barack Obama do?  He could’ve simply declined to comment.  After all this is basically a local matter, directly involving two people in Florida.  Staying above the fray would’ve been prudent, especially as this case has become a lot more complicated than how the media initially portrayed it. 

The President did not choose to do that.  Instead he chose to stoke racial fires.  He didn’t call on the Sharpton/Jackson/New Black Panther Triumvirate of Stupid o tone down their inflammatory rhetoric.  Obama failed to tell Louis Farrakhan to shut the hell up about retaliation.  None of that happened.

The question becomes:  Why did the President take this course?  The unfortunate death of Trayvon Martin’s is being used by Barack Obama to create fear and anger within the black community.  He intends to use this fear to help bolster his re-election campaign. 

Is that cynical?  Sadly, it is.  Then again, why shouldn’t Obama be greeted with cynicism?  It was his administration that asserted that they would never let a crisis go to waste.  He himself asked the Russian dictator regime to give him some space until after the November election so that he could cave on missile defense.  Every time this President makes any move, he’s operating in the most mercenary politically expedient fashion possible.

But in this case, we’re all supposed to assign purely innocent motives to Barack Obama.  Of course.  After three years of watching this clown’s beer summitsnon-recess recess appointments and undeclared kinetic military actions that are not officially wars, everybody is supposed to just let this one slide.

Sorry if I’m not in the mood to play along with the dopey ‘emperor’s new clothes’ drag act.

The larger point here is that Obama’s actions are the mark of a desperate man.  Just like David Dinkins clung to the life-raft of racial grievance to try to stay in office, Barack Obama is using the Trayvon Martin death as a way to energize black voters.  That’s the only card he has to play.

Consider an alternative:  If Obama had any kind of record to run on, would he have bothered to weigh in on the Trayvon Martin shooting?  Would he be selling Trayvon-inspired hoodies to fund raise for the 2012 campaign if he didn’t feel the need to tie himself to one side of the Martin case?

No, this is a sign of a candidate using the most shopworn hackneyed race card in the deck because he’s got no other trick to play.

UPDATE:  Linked by Smitty at The Other McCain.  Thanks!

UPDATE II:  Linked by The DaleyGator–those guys rule.  Thanks, homies.

UPDATE III:  Linked by the ever-cool Wyblog.  Muchas Gracias, Chris.

UPDATE IV:  Linked by the debonair Bob Belvedere.  Big ups, sir.

Posted in Domestic Happenings, Politicians behaving badly | Tagged: , , , , , , | 17 Comments »

Food Review-Doritos Locos Tacos by Taco Bell

Posted by KingShamus on March 26, 2012

Since I haven’t eaten any really gross food on my blog lately.

For many Americans, Taco Bell represents both the scrumptious promise of vaguely Mexican fast food and the scowling threat of lower abdominal agony.  Da Bell is celebrated by late night partiers as great post-binge grub.  At the same time, using a ten pound sack full of beef burritos to take the edge off of an evening of drunken excess requires good judgement and an ability to tolerate mild to moderate cramping.  Beyond the efficacy of the stuff as after-party grindage, if you ask a lot of people, relying on Taco Bell for anything besides last resort nutrition during the zombie apocalypse is sheer madness.

At the same time it’s hard to argue with the masses, especially when they’re right.  Taco Bell was born in the early sixties and has been a going concern ever since.  How many people have been served by all the Bells in the world?  That’s hard to say, but it’s gotta be tens of millions. How many people across the world have been introduced to the delicious Tex-Mex Southwestern style of cooking through Taco Bell?  Again, that figure is surely in the millions.  The fact of the matter is that Taco Bell makes tasty food and a lot of people know it.      

In what is clearly an attempt to unite the bleary-eyed stoner, dedicated couch potato, two-fisted drinker and too-busy-to-sit-down-guy voting blocs into one massive unstoppable slightly gaseous culinary movement, Taco Bell has invented the Doritos Locos Taco.  Inside, the taco is made out of the familiar meat (or is that ‘meat’?), shredded cheese, lettuce and tomato combination we’ve all grown up with.  The shell is where it deviates from the norm.  Instead of the standard nacho taco wrap, the shell is made out of a large taco-shaped Nacho Cheese flavored Dorito.

This sounds too good to resist.  Fears of the Aztec Two-Step fading!  Misgivings about the pain I’m about to go through receding! 

Okay folks, lets eat some fabulous garbage!        

T-Minus 15 Minutes: 

I pull up to the Taco Bell drive-thru, ready for action.  Naturally, I order three Doritos Locos Tacos.  Of course, I order them using the corniest Antonio Banderas accent possible: “Thhrrrrree Dohhhrrrrrrrrritohhhhsz Lohhhhhkohhhhsz Taahhhhhhcohhhhhsz.”  Assuredly, the drive-thru dude is annoyed, but he takes my order anyway.  I get a Diet Pepsi because I’m really concerned about what goes into my body.

T-Minus 1 minute:

I get home and peel away the wrapping.  Or should I say ‘wrappings’.  Are two casings really necessary?  It seems more like an advertising ploy than for any real hygienic or culinary need. 

Okay Taco Bell.  I get it.  I’m eating a new and exciting taco stuffed into the Frito-Lay Corporation’s flagship snack food.  Message received, homie.

Oh well.  As soon as I tear off the paper, the distinct aroma of Nacho Cheese Doritos wafts up off the plate.  Its like getting a whiff of a batch of Doritos fresh out of the oven.  Interestingly, the doritos are so potent they drown out the normal beefy taco scent.

              

T-Plus 2 minutes:

First impressions are fairly important in life.  In the case of the Locos Tacos, the initial vibe is pretty good.  This particular confection is a step-up from the average Taco Bell taco.  The beefy taste is perfectly matched with the zingy flavor of a Nacho Cheese Dorito.  The steamy warmth of the meat has softened the shell, which makes it go down that much easier. 

T-Plus 5 Minutes:

 

At this point, things are going strong.  As good as Taco Bell’s tacos are, this iteration of their signature item is definitely an improvement.  In fact, it is so good it has me wondering.  Why the hell didn’t they do this sooner?  Maybe the two companies recently merged?  Perhaps Taco Bell and Doritos are still separate entities and they could never get it together before now.  The Doritos Locos Taco is like absurdly low-hanging fruit that should’ve been picked during the Carter Administration. 

T-Plus 8 Minutes:

The Doritos Locos Tacos have got me thinking about other winning combinations that haven’t been dreamed up.  A Dunkin Donuts Bear Claw baked into a Twinkie would be amazing.  I can’t see why a Dominos cheesy stick shouldn’t be the casing for a Subway Five Dollar Footlong.  A Big Mac slapped in between two Auntie Anne’s pretzels might be earth shattering.  Combining two awesome things to make something even awesomer would be awesome.

I’d better stop this train of thought before I turn into an Epic Meal Time rip-off. 

T-Plus 10 minutes:

         

I mean, why the hell can’t we all just get along?  What’s stopping us from really banding together as a species, bro?  Why don’t we all just unite, like the doritos and tacos have in the Doritos Locos Tacos, to make the planet completely excellent.  If all races, religions, ethnic groups and political ideologies could just eat Doritos Locos Tacos, everything would be fine.  The Iranians and the Israelis would immediately sign a free trade agreement.  The Chinese and the Japanese would forgive each other for all the bad shit they’ve done to each other over the millenia.  The Basques and The Spanish would high-five during the Running of The Bulls.  Anything is possible. 

As Gandhi said, “All we have to do is be the change we wish to see in the world while eating Doritos Tacos Locos.” 

Yes.  That is the exact quote.  Gahndhi said those very words.  THE Gnahdhi.   Let me spell it out for you:  H-G-A-H-N-D-H-E-E.  You know, the motherfuckin’ liberator of India.

I read it on the internet.  Go ahead and verify that shit, sweetheart.  You’ll only see that I’m right.  Teh intertubes don’t lie.  THEY JUST DON’T.

T-Plus 1 Hour:

  

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh God.  What the hell did I just say?  I think the Doritos Locos Tacos affected my judgement, impulse control and sanity. 

Yeah, that fugue state was pretty weird. For a second the pure win of the doritos merging with the tacos made me muy locos or some shit.  I think I’m coming down off the nacho cheese high now.

Speaking of the afterglow, something else is going incandescent.  Unfortunately I think it’s my guts.  Yeah, the nacho goodness is starting to turn my stomach into a Gordian knot of nastiness. 

Here comes the pain.

T-Plus 4 hours:

My insides have more or less stopped doing backflips.  Now comes the gas.  Lots and lots of gas.

T-Plus 12 Hours:      

Sleep was a little rough.  Just in case you were wondering, I can confirm that even a single completely unintentional Dutch oven will not be viewed as a hilarious prank by your lover.   Blog De KingShamus:  It’s Educational!

T-Plus 16 Hours:

It’s all over except the flatulence.  Co-workers have been loathe to sit next to me.   I’ve been loathe to sit down anywhere, what with my chafed o-ring and all.

Small children now fear me and wail lamentations over my existence.  Adults look upon my visage as one would look upon a walking plague.  Everywhere my name is spoken in hushed dread:  “Avert your gaze, for there goes KingShamus–Destroyer of Break Rooms.” 

Conclusions

The Doritos Locos Tacos are probably the best Taco Bell tacos ever invented.  The DLT takes the company’s already strong taco recipe and puts it into what should be an award-winning shell.  As stated earlier, it’s hard to imagine why this thing didn’t happen earlier.  A taco made out of a Dorito?  Of course!

The only caveat about the Doritos Locos Tacos is the warning that comes with all Taco Bell food.  If you have a sensitive stomach, you might want to take it easy on the DLT.  Instead of eating an entire bag of them, maybe just one or maybe two.  When it comes to Taco Bell,  be like Dirty Harry and know your colon’s limitations. 

Regardless of any misgivings, the Doritos Locos Tacos represents the pinnacle of fast-food Mexican cuisine.  If you got a hankering for quick south of the border grub, you really can’t go wrong with Taco Bell.  If you want to take a taco to the next level, you can do no better than the Doritos Locos Tacos.  

Posted in Critiques | Tagged: , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

Music Monday Metal – “Maiden, Mother & Crone” by The Sword

Posted by KingShamus on March 26, 2012

I’ve been playing a lot of softer stuff lately. Taking it easy ain’t the worst idea from time to time.  On the other hand, here’s something with a little more oomph.

This tune is taken from The Sword’s “Gods of The Earth” disc that came out a few years back.  The Sword has been a prominent component of the new stoner/doom metal scene that’s been bubbling up since Kyuss was making hazy jams out in the California desert back in the 90s.  While a bit more accessible than groups like Electric Wizard and Cough, The Sword can pretty much jam with the best of them. 

I also dig the concept of the video.  It’s a very literal interpretation of the tune, which makes sense.  The ‘maiden’ and ‘mother’ gals are not hard on the eyes at all.  If every water bong enthusiast neo-hippie chick looked like these young ladies, I’d seriously consider living on a commune, quoting ‘Siddhartha’ at inappropriate moments and smelling like week old hummus 24/7/365.   

In any case, bravo to The Sword.  If you wanna hear them rocking out even harder, there’s always this tune to satisfy your inner head-banging 15-year-old self.

Groove, homies.

Posted in Music Monday | Tagged: , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Green Jobs Ecological Fun Time Policy Show With Obama!

Posted by KingShamus on March 25, 2012

Ever wonder how St. Barry and his minions come up with energy policy in America?  Friend of BDKS Innominatus gives us a peak inside the deepest recesses of the White House brain trust.  Its not pretty.

pResident Obama and Energy Secretary Steven Chu are reclined on the White House porch.

[Obama] “OK. I’m about to unveil our new energy policy. But just in case the teleprompter hiccups, let’s go over it one more time.”

[Chu] “Alright. We start by announcing that all incandescent light bulbs will be immediately illegal, and all citizens have 24 hours to relinquish them to a government-approved disposal center. The incandescent, or ‘Edison’ bulbs must be replaced by CFL lamps. Which is extra cool, since we both own stock in CFL makers.”

[Obama, nodding] “Uh-huh, uh-huh.”

[Chu] “Then we have the jackboots begin inspecting homes for contraband Edison bulbs citizens may be trying to keep and/or hide. We’ll prioritize our search so that republican regions get searched first. Violators will be sent to starvation camps.”

[Obama] “Michelle will like that. Finally getting some victory in the War on Obesity and all that.”

Shelley The Sometime First Lady And Full-Time Amateur Dietician strikes again.

Read the rest at the link homies.  Innominatus, for the win.

Posted in Chuckles | Tagged: , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Lets Get To Know Malaika Arora Khan

Posted by KingShamus on March 24, 2012

Who is she?

Malaika is a prominent model, actress and television host in the Bollywood scene.  When MTV India was getting it’s start, she was one of that network’s first VJ’s.  Since then, she has appeared in numerous advertisements, television programs and big budget Indian cinema.  You can also read all about her Christmas plans (she’s Catholic) here. 

She’s also easy on the eyes.   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well, that’s it ya’all.

Enjoy!

Posted in The Posts of Morale | Tagged: , , | 4 Comments »

Occupy Wall Street…With Turds (Now With 50% More Updatedness!)

Posted by KingShamus on March 22, 2012

Ya know, I’ve been wondering what the Occupy Wall Street movement has been up to lately.  They’ve been sorta quiet.  I hope everything is okay.

Surveillance video captured Occupy Wall Street demonstrators just before 8 p.m. on March 14 dragging large quantities of human urine and feces in containers to an open-air plaza at the corner of Nassau and Cedar Streets in Lower Manhattan, then pouring the waste down the stairs there. In a separate incident the same night, approximately 20 minutes later, one of the suspects entered a Chase ATM vestibule on Water Street and poured the human waste inside the vestibule.

Oh, thank God.  It’s totally not a big deal.  I was worried those mischievous Occupy scamps were up to no good, like potentially spreading deadly disease causing microorganisms in a heavily populated urban area.

I’m sure the load of shit thrown into that Chase automated teller booth was very much appreciated by the customers who had to use the ATM machine.  Nothing brightens the day of a typical New York City resident–already known across the planet for their pleasant cheerful demeanor–like having to wade through airborne cryptosporidium in order to get money out of the bank.  I’m certain those folks who were trying to get cash at that ATM had a hearty guffaw at the harmless prank the Occupy Wall Street band of harmless pranksters had on them. 

The people who went to that Chase vestibule were definitely won over to the Occupy side by stepping in piles of shit.  I know that’s how the Tea Party movement grew so quickly.  You remember all those reich-wing teabaggers spreading their crapulence all over the areas surrounding their rallies, right?

MORE:  Matt over at the righteous Conservative Hideout has video of the prank, and regales us with a particularly awesome detail.

In a bizarre twist to the story, it seems that Mr. Amos’ van was also used to haul food for the Occupiers. Also in the NY Post story:

Amos was in charge of bringing food for protesters at 60 Wall St. and his white van was caught crossing the Brooklyn Bridge several times.

No worries about food contamination though.  The Occupy movement is famous for its diligent cleaning and sanitizing habits.  Mr. Amos’ van was definitely 100% fecal coliform-free when he was bringing food to Zuccoti Park. 

Well, maybe 94% fecal coliform-free.  That’s a pretty good number.

Okay, 83.5% fecal coliform-free.  Still a strong not vomit-inducing figure.

Yeah, on second though, perhaps 67% fecal coliform-free is closer to accurate.

Would you settle for 50% fecal coliform-free? 

Jeez, your standards are a little high, don’t you think?  We’re only talking about the distinct possibility of human crap and food getting mixed together.  It’s not as if its something serious, like giving the local Communist Party apparatchik sufficient uptwinkles during his 20 minute rant at Occupy Duluth.

Posted in Domestic Happenings, The Social Scene | Tagged: , , , | 8 Comments »

Tim Tebow Traded To…The New York Jets? (With Three Updates!)

Posted by KingShamus on March 21, 2012

Will wonders never cease?

The Broncos traded quarterback Tim Tebow on Wednesday to the New York Jets for a fourth-round draft choice, FOXSports.com has learned.

It was later revealed that the Broncos received a fourth-, sixth- and seventh-round pick for Tebow, the Denver Post reported.

The deal – which was facilitated by Denver’s signing of Peyton Manning to a five-year, $96 million contract – spells the end to one of the wildest chapters in the franchise’s 52-year history.

Well, that moved pretty fast didn’t it?  Manning makes his announcement yesterday.  Today, Tebow is gone. 

Quick question:  What did the Jets just get themselves into here?

The team just signed their starting quarterback Mark Sanchez to a three year contract extension.  That would seem to suggest that the Jets were committing themselves to Sanchez for at least the short and middle term.    In that context, the move to get Tebow makes little sense. 

The New York Jets now have millions of dollars wrapped up in one position.  That would be great if football was played with more than one ball.  Unfortunately, it’s not.  How much salary cap space do the Jets have to fill other needs?  How much can Sanchez and Tebow co-exist without having other parts of the team becoming degraded? 

People will argue that, with Tony Sparano installed as the new offensive coordinator, getting Tim Tebow is a good move.  When he was the head coach of the Dolphins his Wildcat play-calling added an unpredictable wrinkle to the Miami attack.  On paper Tebow’s skills would seem to mesh with the Sparano’s ideas about how to run an NFL offense.  With Tebow called in for wildcat plays, one could make the argument that the Jets just made a great decision.

The problem here is that its 2012, not 2008.  Defenses have largely found ways of limiting the damage Wildcat plays can cause in the course of a game.  Sparano’s unorthodox tactics seemed to have hit a wall in recent years.  Now, one could make the case that Sparano didn’t have the personnel in Miami to make the Wildcat work, but it’s an argument with a lot of holes in it.

Here’s another fun fact:  Perpetually disgruntled asshat and part-time NFL wide receiver Santonio Holmes spent most of the 2011 season angry that he wasn’t getting the ball enough.  He threw Mark Sanchez under the bus several times during the course of the year.  How stoked is Holmes going to be when the Jets turn into a QB-option/ run early/run often/run always offense?  Potentially, Santonio Holmes could go from a major annoyance to a full-blown locker room cancer over the course of the upcoming season.

The thing is, I like Tim Tebow.  I’ve said a few times that Tebow’s greatest weakness is his inability to read NFL defenses.  I believe that if he devotes himself to correcting that one sub par aspect of his game, that he could be a successful NFL quarterback.  He has all the physical tools to do this.  His mental toughness suggests that he also has the work ethic to make himself into a top-flight field general.

The issue I have is that this move is completely illogical except in one way.  By making this trade, the New York Jets have put themselves on the back page of every New York City tabloid.  Not only that, they’ve made a huge media splash across the country.  From the perspective of a team looking for attention, this deal got everybody thinking about the Jets.  Congratulations Gang Green, you’ve completely annihilated the off-season news cycle war.

However, the point of the NFL is to win Super Bowls.  Kicking ass in the spring is merely a facet in the overall framework of collecting championship hardware.  Ask the Washington Redskins how their various March player pick-ups have contributed to their utter dominance of the league during the last decade.

The Jets didn’t get a pass-rushing defensive end.  They didn’t snag a monster offensive tackle.  No, they decided to get another quarterback.  For a team with a QB that has led them to the AFC Championship game two out the last three years.

UPDATE NUMERO UNO:  The Jets jumped the gun?

After word spread rapidly Wednesday that the New York Jets had acquired quarterback Tim Tebow from Denver for draft picks, the teams have encountered a hang-up in the language in Tebow’s contract that could nullify the trade, a Broncos source tells ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter.

In Tebow’s contract is a $6.2 million salary advance, of which $1.2 million already has been paid by Denver, sources told Schefter. The difference of $5 million is still advanced against his future salary, and that burden would shift to the Jets in a trade. The Jets, sources said, believe the Broncos should owe Tebow that money.

The trade, then, will not be finalized until the sides resolve their differences over which should pay the money coming to Tebow.

The teams agreed to the terms of the trade — the Jets dealt fourth-round and sixth-round selections in 2012 in exchange for Tebow and a 2012 seventh-rounder from Denver — before the Broncos asked New York to pay back a portion of bonuses and salary already paid to Tebow…

What the hell?

This is just silly.

If the Jets have any sense, they’ll take this snag as a very convenient way of backing the hell out of this deal.  “Whoopsies, we’re horrible readers!  We can’t figure out contract clauses!  Looks like the trade is void!  Awwww shucks!”

Lets see if Gang Green can get lucky and have this swap fall though on them.

UPDATE NUMERO DOS:  It gets stranger still.

“Tim Tebow has $5 million worth of recapture language,” Schefter tweeted, “meaning Jets would have to pay back money to Denver. Jets might be unwilling.”

Multiple sources have indicated that the Jets front office agreed to the deal and then raised objections after thoroughly reading the contract. An ESPN source says the Broncos continue to negotiate with the Jets, but are also negotiating with the Jacksonville Jaguars.

…Similar language ended trade talks between Denver and the Jaguars, Schefter noted, but as stated those talks appeared to be back on. Schefter later wrote that a league source believes the trade would eventually go through with the Jets. If both teams fell through, the St. Louis Rams could have been involved.

Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeebus.

This has turned into a Grade-A clusterfuck. 

All because Mike Tannenbaum didn’t bother to read Tebow’s contract? 

Unbelievable.

UPDATE NUMERO TRES:  Nope.  It’s done.  Tebow is a Jet.

For the second time in eight hours, the Jets finalized a trade for Tim Tebow. This time, it’s official, sources told ESPN Insider Adam Schefter.

The trade compensation is the same as the original compensation: The Jets send fourth- and sixth-round picks to the Broncos, who send a seventh-rounder back to the Jets.

According to Schefter, the Jets agreed to pay $2.5 million of the $5 million in advance salary that is owed to Tebow — the root of the contract-related snafu that held up the trade. So not only did they give up two draft picks, but they had to pay extra to acquire him.

Whatever.  The most pointless trade in football history is finally finalized. 

Hey, New York Jets owner Woody Johnson:  You bought the ticket, enjoy the ride.

Posted in Domestic Happenings, The Social Scene, The Sporting Life | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

On the first day of Spring…

Posted by KingShamus on March 20, 2012

Let us note that Barack Obama ain’t doing so hot:

On Obamacare:

The poll indicated that 49 percent of likely voters said they expect a court ruling that is unfavorable to the Affordable Care Act, while just 29 percent think it will be upheld and 22 percent aren’t sure.

Economy:

On economic issues, 62 percent of voters say Obama’s policies will increase the debt, while 25 percent think they will cut it, and by a 48-percent-to-38-percent margin, voters believe those policies will increase joblessness rather than put people back to work.

Energy:

On energy, 58 percent say Obama’s policies will result in gasoline prices increasing, while just 20 percent expect them to cut prices — and by a 46-percent-to-36-percent margin, voters believe they will cause the United States to become even more dependent on foreign oil.

Better still, read this part of Bruce McQuain’s piece:

When you have consistent polls that say a vast majority of voters are unhappy with a president’s signature piece of legislation, that’s a place you focus your campaign. When you have two important issues – the economy and energy – where significant majorities are down on the incumbent for his policies, you hammer that unmercifully.

Bingo.

Those have to be the primary foci for any 2012 GOP campaign.  All of these issues are pocketbook concerns that go right to the heart of how people live their day-to-day lives.  All of them are directly related to the disastrous policies of the current President.  All of them have broad appeal across the vast restive American electorate.

The problem here is that the Democrats are going to do everything they can to keep Barack Obama from dying on those particular hills.  Take note how the Sandra Fluke affair was used to paint a picture of Republicans at war with women and women’s health issues.  Because Obama’s record is indefensible, misdirection plays like the Fluke debacle are going to be the norm from here on in.  As usual, the DNC and the MSM will be coordinating this strategy as they did in 2008 (and every other election year, but who’s counting?)

The GOP has a decision to make.  It can choose to play along with the lamestreamer/DonkeyPuncher misdirections and let themselves get bogged down.  Or the Republicans can brush that bullshit aside and keep attacking the main problem, which is that Obama’s policies have led the nation into a multifaceted economic quagmire with no hope of recovery.

It also means that the various Newtonian/RomneyTron/Santo/Ronulan factions are going to have to come up with a way to coexist in a post-primary world.  I know each side wants to keep going hammer and tongs at each other.  That’s fine.  Lets keep the primary process going and lets figure out which candidate is actually the best man for the job.

Just understand that, at this point, any zingers or gaffes or ‘startling new revelations’ brought up about any of the GOP candidates isn’t going to do much.  Everybody knows everything important about these candidates by now.  The Republican field, flawed as it is, remains the only viable option to–at the very least–slow the decline into pathetic death rattle statism.

That means everyone on the conservative side of the aisle is going to need to figure out how to acclimate themselves to a candidate that might not be their first…or second…or eighth choice.  I’m sorry it went down this way.  I wish we could’ve found a more ideologically sound champion. 

On the other hand, whoever gets the GOP nod is going to need a lot of help.  He can’t fight the Democrats, the news media and vast swaths of the entertainment field (but I repeat myself three times) alone.  If the candidate wants to stay on message, the right-of-center blogosphere will have to be the ones to refute the goofy distortions, inane asides and outright lies the united Left is going to throw at the Republican nominee. 

Look, I want Rick Santorum to be the party’s choice.  I think out of all the remaining candidates, he does the best to represent all three legs…national security, fiscal discipline and social traditionalism…of the GOP’s current electoral coalition.  He’s the one who makes the most compelling case for each part of the GOP’s base.  He would make a formidable challenger to the Obama Administration and he would fare quite well against the President in the debates.

All that doesn’t mean that I won’t support Romney if he is the republican nominee.  There, I said it.

Why?  Because Barack Obama cannot be allowed to be President again.  He must be stopped.  He can’t get another four years to plunge this economy into Euro-stagnation.  He can’t get another term so he can focus on expanding abortion rights or putting a dagger into the heart of the Second Amendment.  It’s just that simple. 

Those poll results at the top of the post suggest that this most left-wing of Presidents can be beaten.  He’s not invincible.  But it is going to take a very strong push to get the GOP candidate across the finish line.

I guess what I’m trying to say is: Right-wing bloggers-your services are very much required this year.

Posted in Domestic Happenings | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Awesome News-Leader of The Free World Emo Over News Network’s Coverage

Posted by KingShamus on March 19, 2012

Just remember:  Everybody knows the GOP field of presidential candidates is a pack of weak sisters compared to that rara avis Barack “Scary Smart Exceptional Temperament” Obama.

President Barack Obama blamed Fox News for his political woes in a private meeting with labor leaders in 2010, saying he was “losing white males” who tune into the cable outlet and “hear Obama is a Muslim 24/7,” according to journalist David Corn’s new book, “Showdown.”

…Corn writes that after the midterm elections, Obama told labor leaders in December 2010 that he held Fox partly responsible for him “losing white males.”

“…Fed by Fox News, they hear Obama is a Muslim 24/7, and it begins to seep in…The Republicans have been at this for 40 years. They have new resources, but the strategy is old,” Corn recounted Obama as saying.

You remember how George W. Bush constantly whined how MSNBC hurt him among the douchedrinker neo-hippie voting bloc, right?

Then again, why is anybody surprised when the crybaby-in-chief loses his shit over conservative criticism of his record?  Other people write his books, yet he gets all the credit.  He skated through his 15 minute US Senate career by voting ‘present’ and showing up late to hearings.  The American media coverage of Obama’s presidency has run the gamut from fawning to tongue-bath.

Everywhere this spoiled brat of a man has gone in his political career St. Barry has been somebody’s pretty silky pony.  From the Chicago Left to national progressive organizations, Obama always had to be sheltered from the tough-minded critiques of his policies.  His achievement-free self-esteem couldn’t handle the shock of real sustained dissent.

Obama thinks that Fox News caused his party to lose the white male vote in 2010.  It couldn’t be that white males honestly disagree with the President’s administration.  Nope.  Of course its racism and Fox News that pushed the caucasian persuasion dude caucus to vote with the Republican Party.  That explains everything.  [sarc/]

I snagged this link from Iowahawk’s twitter feed.  Thank you, sir.

Posted in Politicians behaving badly | Tagged: , , , | 8 Comments »

Music Monday Musical Benediction – “Best NASCAR Prayer Ever” by Songify

Posted by KingShamus on March 19, 2012

Remember back last year when I posted this:

Yeah, that was pretty cool.  What’s even cooler is that awesome prayer put to an awesome song.

I should’ve known the Songify guys would put something awesome together for the best prayer ever.  The cool part is how it’s not their usual house music or hip-hop style.  Instead, they go country which is a nice surprise.   The down-home banjo riff is rad.

Sing it with me, all ten BDKS readers:  BOOGITY, BOOGITY, BOOGITY—-AMEN!

ALSO:  Sorry for posting something that’s kinda old.  In my defense, I only just knew about it a week ago or something. When I finally did hear the tune, I couldn’t get it out of my head for days.  Total earworm. 

The song is such a big beautiful piece of Americana hillbilly patriotism it’s hard not to like it, regardless of the inherent silliness.

Posted in Chuckles, Music Monday | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Shocker: Delusional Idiot Makes Delusional Idiotic Threats, Gets Arrested

Posted by KingShamus on March 18, 2012

Darcprynce over at the terrific Daleygator blog brings us news of the absurd.

Christine Wright-Darrisaw, a 36-year-old Rochester woman was jailed after she allegedly called the White House and threatened to kill President Barack Obama over child custody laws.

According to Rochester police, Wright-Darrisaw repeatedly called the White House in regards to her child custody issues.

On February 24, she reportedly called again. This time, the operator stated that she was screaming into the phone, stating that current child custody laws were unfair and that she needed Obama to fix it.

Investigators say Wright-Darrisaw threatened to kill the president while speaking to the operator. The operator informed Secret Service officials of that phone call, along with the previous calls they had received from the suspect.

I for one am very sorry to hear about this young lady’s dilemma.  I can even see how she was in the right.  I mean, all the smart folks know that the executive branch of the United States is the first resort to get a local magistrate to let you see your kids unsupervised for 10 minutes.  It’s like Article Two, Section Eleventy of the Constitution, commonly referred to as the ‘President Got The Hook Up’ clause. 

Look it up.  It’s all there in the Constitution.  James Madison and the Founders were truly men of vision.   

Christine Wright-Darrisaw was only going through what she believed was proper channels.  Hers was the measured  response of woman well aware of her civil rights.  If you doubt it, take a look at her completely not-crazy mug shot.

Wait for it.

Wait for it.

Wait for it.

 

Not nuts at all.

Anyhoo, check out the rest of Darcprynce’s post to see the end of the story.

Also, on a completely unrelated note, check out The DaleyGator’s wonderful understated tribute to bikini model Jessica Rafalowski.  It’s highly edumakational or some shit.

Posted in Chuckles | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

Double Barrel—1911 handgun?

Posted by KingShamus on March 17, 2012

Okee-dokee.

I dunno how practical this thing is.  Even if it was chambered in 9mm, this thing would probably kick way too hard to aim accurately.  I can also imagine how cleaning and maintenance would be a pain in the ass.

Also, I don’t give a shit.  Who gives a damn whether it’s practical?  This beast is just the sort of wildly unwieldable, basically untenable  firearm that the United States has fallen in love with since the nuclear warhead. Give the American gun buyer market five years to get to know the AF and we’ll make an Olympic medal event based around it.    

The AF2011-A1 emanates unadulterated liberty, oozes every flavor of awesome and is forged from the stuff of pure win.

Update:  I sorta beefed on crediting where I got the video from.  This magnificent Youtube clip is courtesy of Theo Spark.  While you’re there, check out his tasteful dignified look at a particular piece of St. Patrick’s Day-themed swimwear.  I mean, it’s green so….um….yeah.  Mildly NSFW warning for showing some skin and also for being completely awesome.

Posted in Domestic Happenings, Foreign doings | Tagged: , , | 3 Comments »

Asma Al-Assad: Pretty. Vacant. Fascist.

Posted by KingShamus on March 16, 2012

Syria’s most chic Baathist continues her charm offensive all over teh intertubes.

Twitter closed down a string of accounts purporting to be authored by the Syrian president and the first lady, emails reveal.

A senior aide to Asma al-Assad, Fares Kallas, took issue with the site over 11 accounts. Half of the accounts using the first lady’s name and all but one of those using the president’s name were closed down.

The author of one account, @Syrianpresident, described it as a “parody account” and said it had attracted 2,500 followers.

Kallas wrote to Twitter complaining that this and other accounts were “fraudulent Twitter accounts purporting to be the president of Syria and the first lady of Syria and we would like to officially request for these accounts to be removed or suspended. We believe that each of the following are clearly intending to mislead people via impersonation rather than act as spoof/humorous accounts.”

Twitter told the Assad office: “We do suspend accounts that are clear attempts at impersonation,” but added: “Twitter users are allowed to create parody, commentary and fan accounts.”

How does Asma Al-Assad have clout to get a bunch of parody Twitter accounts closed?  Syria’s First Dictatorette must be more powerful than we thought.  I for one would like to have Twitter shutter the tweet-handles of Daily Kos, Keith Olbermann and Barack Obama for starters.  I mean, if we’re just terminating obvious lame joke accounts, we should start with the biggest ones.

Here’s an even better question: When does Vogue Magazine do another breatheless fashionista airbrushing tough-minded profile of Mrs. Assad?  Last year the style mavens were all a-flutter, gushing over the greatness of Asma.  Now…eh, not so much.  Must be the stench from all those massacres that’s harshing Anna Wintour’s fan-girl crush on the First Lady of Syria.

The problem here is that no matter how many Givenchy frocks and how much luxe make-up you put on the wife of a paranoid murderous, freedom hating, minority-bashing jack-booted socialist dickbag, she’ll still be the wife of a paranoid murderous, civil rights hating, minority-bashing jack-booted socialist dickbag.  It’s impossible to separate the two.  I understand that Asma looks terrific in Chanel sunglasses and Italian couture, but does anybody really understand how she gets her clothes?  They’re not running a March of Dimes over in Damascus.  The Assad regime is pretty much the blueprint for a multigenerational Middle Eastern kleptocracy.

As the great amateur sociologist PJ O’Rourke once wrote, “It’s always tempting to impute/unlikely virtues to the cute.”  Asma Al-Assad, to be frank, is a knock-out.  She’s in her mid-thirties, but she looks like she could be ten years younger.  Her English is spoken with a genteel British lilt.  She is blessed by great genetics–and some help from an expensive personal trainer, no doubt–to have a runway model’s physique.  Her golden wavy tresses and girlish smile give her an air of sun-kissed youth leavened by a cultured aesthetic.  It would be hard for even the most rock-ribbed cynic to resist Mrs. Assad’s numerous charms.

But that doesn’t mean the West shouldn’t at least try to see through the beautiful facade. Asma’s husband Bashar al-Assad is a brutal dictator who has spent the twelve years of his rule torturing and killing his own people.   His latest acts of oppression and slaughter are the systematic crackdowns associated with tyrannical socialism.   His government stands shoulder to shoulder with America’s worst enemies.  Asma is inextricably linked to the Syrian terror state, whether or not we want to acknowledge it.

Moreover, in judging Asma Al-Assad, we should look at her actions, not by her wardrobe.  When faced with derision on Twitter, what did Asma do?  She didn’t defend free speech rights.  Nor did she just ignore the parody accounts, which would probably have been her best choice.  No, she used her influence to silence voices of dissent against her husband’s murderous regime.  Mrs. Assad’s first instinct was to muzzle criticism of the Syrian government.

In other words, the beautiful style maven beloved by Western elites for her luxurious elegance used a tactic straight out of the How To Trample Free Speech Like A Good Baathist playbook.

Naturally, all this means that Sarah Palin is a Nazi because she criticized Democrats.  Asma Al-Assad is just a misunderstood angel.

UPDATE:  Turns out the (fake) President of Syria is a fan!

It’s always nice to have celebrity admirers.  [sarc/]

Posted in Foreign doings, Politicians behaving badly | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

Fun With Afghanistan Debacle Headlines!

Posted by KingShamus on March 15, 2012

Matt Drudge, you magnificent bastard.

Haha. 

Good to see the President showing his usual steadfast dedication to the important issues of the day.  Watch for tomorrow’s itinerary when our glorious leader will give the Chicago Bears tips on their upcoming NFL draft.  Spoiler Alert: Barry thinks the O-line needs some help.

On a completely unrelated and truly unimportant aside, the total metaphysical boning of America is just about done vis-a-vis Afghanistan.  That metastasizing tumor masquerading as a country is a clogged toilet wrapped in a cesspool baked in a donkey’s asscrack cloaked in an illiterate mujahedeen’s armpit.  The mission to democratize these jag-offs has not succeeded.  Hell, the mission to just get these miserable bastards to not molest their children or throw acid on their women’s faces or not turn themselves into human grenades has been a complete disaster.

Fuck them.  Fuck their stupid tribal grievances.  Fuck their rampant corruption.  Fuck their crybaby nonsense.  Fuck their wildly overblown sense of cultural superiority.  Fuck their childish whining sense of entitlement.  Fuck them hard.

Enough is enough.

The problem here is that both George Bush and Barack Obama have failed to figure out some important facts over the last ten years.  America has gone with the Underpants Gnome Theory of Third World Country Democratization.  Like scrotum, here’s the plan in a nut-shell:

Phase 1:  Conquer The Country

Phase 2:  ?

Phase 3:  DEMOCRACY!

See?  When looked at from that perspective it’s obvious this great plan should’ve worked out.  Right?

You wanna know what’s missing in this brilliant tripartite strategy?

Massive death tolls, obliteration of several urban areas, vast destruction of Afghan infrastructure and property, liquidation of important economic instruments, humiliation of the Afghan people and the annihilation of those members of society that believe in ideologies that allow the harboring of international terrorists bent on killing American citizens and wrecking our society.

There.  Now I fixed it. 

That plan should sound familiar.  It was the guiding principle that worked in Germany and Japan during and after World War II.  In fact, the post-war reconstruction and rebooting of both the German and Japanese cultures has worked out so well that neither country has even considered an offensive war for sixty-seven years. 

Do you remember the last time you heard a peep out of either of them?  No?  These countries made sabre-rattling smack-talk an Olympic sport in the first part of the 20th century.  Now they can’t wait to shut the hell up and not get bombed again.  Why?  Because they’re now docile.  They’ve turned their backs on imperialism and embraced conquering the world the new-fashioned way, through economics.       

But we didn’t do that in Afghanistan. 

Instead, we routed the Taliban only to let them play hide-n-seek in Pakistan.  We gave every village warlord with a harem of prepubescent catamites a forum to vent his spleen over the burning of his precious holy book.  We tolerated the poppy fields and the pay-offs and the puffed-up pre-modern honor systems and the kickbacks and the vendetta killings and all the assorted scumbaggery inherent in traditional Afghan society.  We let Hamid Karzai, our hand-selected well-upholstered puppet and a wretched piece of human filth not fit to tie our shoes, dictate to us the terms of our embarrassment.

This is what our billions have bought us.  This is what our incredible investments in military superiority have won us.  This is what the sacrificed lives of the most precious resource we have–our military men and women–have gained us.  

Fuck, don’t go with my plan.  I know it’s a harsh and brutal way to win a war.  I understand how certain facets of 21st Century America might not be ready for such a drastic step.  I also realize that the steps we could’ve taken in 2001 probably cannot be employed today.

Instead, go with the Bing West model.  Forget about democratization.  Just focus on killing the Taliban, al-Qaeda, the Haqqani Network and any other entity that wants to re-establish international terrorist organizations in Afghanistan.  Do that, regardless of borders or hurt national feelings, and we would at least accomplish something meaningful.

Instead, we slowly and inexorably drift into abject surrender.  Our feckless incompetent president won’t allow a hasty retreat to mar his re-election campaign.  The defeat and humiliating withdrawl will come in 2013.  Obama will then wring his hands and fret over the loss of what he once called our most important war.

I realize this is a trite observation, but that doesn’t mean it’s not true–If a war is important enough to fight, it’s important enough to win.  If we won’t or can’t fight to win, we shouldn’t fight at all.  All we can do is pray that somebody in this Administration figures out that most basic lesson.

Posted in Domestic Happenings, Foreign doings, Politicians behaving badly | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

The Republicans Might Be A-Strugglin’…

Posted by KingShamus on March 12, 2012

…but oh those Democrats aren’t doing any better.

First, let’s check in with The Other McCain, who reports on the GOP’s current quagmire, whoops, I meant the Alabama and Mississippi primaries happening tomorrow.

We know that late-deciding voters are highly suggestible and subject to bandwagon appeals to vote for the candidate they perceive to be the eventual winner. That factor favors Romney, and if it weren’t for the fact that Santorum is being hit with negative ads from every directions (including both the pro-Gingrich “super PAC” radio ads I first heard two weeks ago in Michigan, I’d be tempted to predict a third-place finish for Gingrich in both Mississippi and Alabama.

Because there is no way Newt can actually win the nomination, I’d say a vote for Gingrich is a vote for Romney, except that keeping Newt in the race might, by some unforeseen future turn of events, result in Romney being deprived of a majority of delegates going into the convention. Every delegate Romney doesn’t win — no matter whether the delegate is for Gingrich, Rick Santorum or Ron Paul — increases the possibility of a non-Romney candidate getting the nomination in that political wet dream, the “brokered convention.”

Read the rest.

A brokered convention might be every reporter’s Christmas, New Year’s Eve and ten gallons of free scotch all wrapped up in one, but it doesn’t seem like it would be very good for the GOP cause. I’d say even the specter of a brokered convention–no matter how unlikely–is enough to dampen some spirits on the Republican side. The fear of a brokered convention forcing the party to put up a weak candidate against President Obama is too horrible for many GOPers to even contemplate.

All of this is music to the ears of Team Obamster, of course. Which is why they’re kicking so much ass in the polls.

The new Post-ABC poll shows that “46 percent approve of the way Obama is handling his job; 50 percent disapprove. That’s a mirror image of his 50 to 46 positive split in early February. The downshift is particularly notable among independents — 57 percent of whom now disapprove — and among white people without college degrees, with disapproval among this group now topping approval by a ratio of more than 2 to 1, at 66 versus 28 percent.” . . . Obama also has a substantial problem with independents. The Post’s pollster tells me that Obama trails Mitt Romney 42-50 among independents; against Rick Santorum he trails by a smaller margin, 45 to 48 percent.

Because that’s what truly unbeatable political juggernauts do: Poll weakly to the dude running second in the GOP primaries. Underwater unfavorables in March of an election year? Obama’s got the Republicans right where he wants them.

Ya know what else is a sign of Obama’s awesome electoral might?

Translation: “Last election’s failed vice-presidential candidate said mean things about me–SEND MONEY QUICK!”

Posted in Domestic Happenings, Politicians behaving badly | Tagged: , , , , , , | 6 Comments »

Music Monday Riff-Borrowing–”Come As You Are” by Nirvana

Posted by KingShamus on March 12, 2012

Good bands make up their own songs. Great bands lift parts of other’s songs and make them their own. It’s a tale as old as time and the line between ‘tribute’ and ‘theft’ can get quite hazy.

For your amusement, here’s a 90′s grunge-rock classic. “Come As You Are” might be Nirvana’s greatest single piece of rock goodness. A memorable chorus, big energetic drums and a haunting guitar riff make a magical combination.

Rad song, right?

But it does sound kinda…hmmmm…oh, what’s the word…familiar.

England’s Killing Joke was a great band in the–you guessed it–eighties. Their early records were thrashy fast-paced punk, while their later material featured more textured pop-rock sensibilities. They were a major influence on many bands in both the metal and alternative scenes. “Eighties’ was a big hit for KJ in England and it even made a dent on the charts in the States.

When Killing Joke heard ‘Come As You Are’, there was serious talk of the band suing Nirvana because the rip-off was so egregious. While Kurt Cobain’s suicide put the kibosh on the lawsuit, there were some lingering hard feelings. That would be perfectly understandable, but is Killing Joke entirely innocent here?

Take a listen to this:

The Damned’s “Life Goes On” came out about two years before “Eighties”. The group was a very large presence in the late 70′s/early 80′s British punk movement. There is almost no way Killing Joke and The Damned didn’t know about each other. The two bands had more than a passing knowledge of each other’s material. Yet to this day, Killing Joke insist that the similarities between their tune and The Damned’s number are purely coincidental.

Now, I’m not bringing up twenty and thirty year old controversies just to dredge up long dead rock feuds. These are largely tempest in a teapot affairs, especially decades away from the initial events. Having said that, it’s interesting to hear people–especially young music fans–talk about how their favorite band is ‘…so original.’ Really? How original is it?

To be honest, I didn’t know that Nirvana ripped off Killing Joke who ripped off The Damned until a few years ago. When I was a young pup, I simply didn’t have the depth of knowledge to really see it. When “Come As You Are” first came out, I had no inkling of the song’s origins. I thought it was a cool tune. Which it still is.

So does this all mean that Killing Joke and Nirvana are plagiarists? Yes and no. Strictly speaking, they did rip off the work of previously recorded material and called it their own. But in from a broader perspective, the use of older songs as a starting point for bands and newer tunes has been going on for centuries, probably millennia.

As some old obscure book once opined, there is nothing new under the sun. If that’s the case, then we are all guilty of nicking somebody else’s labor in some minor way. What we should hope for in ourselves and encourage in others is not heavy-handed wholesale lifting of another’s work. Instead, we should strive to incorporate the old into newer contexts and forms.

Ehh, just some food for thought. It’s been something that’s been rattling around my noggin for a while. To be honest, I’m just waiting for the Breitbart folks to drop the next hammer on the lamestream media and President Obama (but I repeat myself).

Posted in Music Monday | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

 
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