Blog de KingShamus

"When an entire nation thirsted to break free from PC…Andrew Breitbart opened a big bar."–Chris Muir

Important New Dining Trend

Posted by KingShamus on June 29, 2012

“Breastaurants”.

Yes.  Breastaurants.

The waitresses at Twin Peaks wear skimpy plaid tops that accentuate their chests. In case you didn’t catch the joke, the chain’s logo is an image of two pointy, snow-capped mountains. And the sports bar doesn’t stop there: It promises “scenic views.”

Twin Peaks owner Randy DeWitt downplays all of that and insists that the appeal of the restaurant goes beyond the obvious. Hearty meals and a focus on making customers feel special, he says, are what really keeps them coming back.

“We believe in feeding the ego before feeding the stomach,” he says. Or as the website of the mountain lodge-themed restaurant states, “Twin Peaks is about you, `cause you’re the man!”

Twin Peaks is part of a booming niche in the beleaguered restaurant industry known as “breastaurants,” or sports bars that feature scantily clad waitresses. These small chains operate in the tradition of Hooters, which pioneered the concept in the 1980s but has struggled in recent years to stay fresh.

…The nation’s top three “breastaurant” chains behind Hooters each had sales growth of 30 percent or more last year, according to Technomic, a food industry research firm. They still represent less than 1 percent of the nation’s top restaurants, but the upstart chains are benefitting as other mid-priced options like Applebee’s and Bennigan’s have experienced declines during the economic downturn.

Look, I think we on the conservative side of the political spectrum need to face up to a hard truth.  I’m sorry I have to break the news.  Its going to be tough, but we right-wing free-marketeers have to own this fact:  Capitalism can be gauche.

Gauchely awesome, that is.

But I sense you don’t really believe me about this breastaurant craze.

“Surely, this must be some kind of joke,” you say to me in an accusatory tone.

“It’s not a joke.  And don’t call me Shirley,” I answer.

But still, your skepticism is well-founded.  I mean, the original article is from some National Public Radio affiliate.  They’re not exactly an ironclad source of truthful information.  Can you or I just take their word on this?  Of course not.  After all, you’re an inquisitive readership.  All ten of the people who subscribe to this blog are going to want more than just baseless assertions of this trend in American dining.

You want proof.  Concrete evidence.  Preferably in picture form.

That is perfectly understandable.  I get it.  In fact, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Exhibit A:  Here’s some of the lovely ladies of The Titled Kilt.

“That’s interesting,” you say, “but it’s just one restaurant chain full of teh hotness.  You’ll have to do better than that.”

Ask and ye shall receive, BDKS homies,

Exhibit B:  Take a gander at the Twin Peaks 2011 calendar.

For scientific purposes, of course.

I hope this pictorial look at this growing American dining innovation was informative and educational.

You’re welcome.

Thanks to the one and only Stephon Starberry for the tip.  Much appreciated, mi amigo.  Very much.

UPDATE:  Linked my the magnificent Daley Gator blog.  They’re celebrating their 4th Blog Birthday, so scoot on over and give them a blogaversary shout-out

10 Responses to “Important New Dining Trend”

  1. joetote said

    Capitalism at its most awesome best! what more can one ask for?

  2. [...] King Shamus links us regularly and keeps us aBREAST of the new dining fad [...]

  3. M Simon said

    I have a better dining trend:

    The Official Beer Of The Revolution

    http://powerandcontrol.blogspot.com/2012/06/official-beer-of-revolution.html

    “If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquillity of servitude than the animating contest of freedom—go from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains sit lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen!” Samuel Adams

  4. Gregoryno6 said

    Enticing. But let’s be honest here guys, we’d most of us starve to death before we remembered we went in there to eat.

  5. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. God bless you son. You give me strength to carry on.

  6. Starless said

    If these chicks were covered in tats and piercing and had mullets it wouldn’t be gauche, it’d be hip, “transgressive”, and even “empowering” to the women. (Hairy and butter-faced would help too, I guess.)

  7. [...] Important New Dining Trend [...]

  8. KingShamus said

    Starless: Right? The God’s Girls/Suicide Girls look is such a bullshit trend. Not every girl has to look like a bisexual coke-head who would suck-start an aircraft carrier if you paid her in barrels of klonopin. You know what’s really empowering? Not having to take off your 18 piercings in order to get on a plane.

    Infidel: In trying times, I try to help everyone carry on.

    Greg: Hahahahaaaa.

    Simon: Okay.

    JoeTote: Indeed, my friend. Indeed.

  9. Starless said

    The God’s Girls/Suicide Girls look is such a bullshit trend.

    “Trend” is right. Being tattooed and pierced isn’t “alt” or transgressive any more. Oh! You’re not stripping, you’re dancing burlesque? I’m so damned impressed by your sly cultural sophistication! Your retro ’50s housewife look superimposed onto acres of inked skin so aptly expresses the dichotomy between the repressed domesticated woman of the past and the uninhibited skank of the present. Congratulations, you’ve really made a statement about your individuality by doing what everyone else in your subculture does.

    If a woman’s a sailor, a con, a biker, or a Yakuza, then fine, she can get all tatted up. Otherwise, all she’s doing is defacing herself.

  10. Wow, there’s only one of these places?

Talk to me, homie

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