Blog de KingShamus

"When an entire nation thirsted to break free from PC…Andrew Breitbart opened a big bar."–Chris Muir

Archive for the ‘Celebutards!’ Category

The Sexxxiest Pro-Abortion Ad You’ll See This Month (With Update)

Posted by KingShamus on January 23, 2013

I mean, who isn’t turned on by a dude grunting weird sexual innuendos about a Supreme Court case that allows people to terminate their pregnancies?

So it’s weird when Clint Eastwood talks to an empty chair, but it’s totally rad when a man breaks the fourth wall and moans at an empty cradle. Got it.

For those of you without a program to refer to, the actor playing the randiest abortion provider ever is Mechad Brooks.  He’s some really famous guy in that show that’s on one of those channels you watch when you’re fighting off a hangover and an eight hour Law & Order-Criminals With SUV And Trials marathons is running or whatever.  As you can imagine, filming a pro-abortion propaganda video is a big step up for Mr. Brooks’ career.  If this Roe v Wade anniversary tribute thingy takes off, he’ll get a fifteen second cameo in the next Lady Gaga video and a free season pass to Knott’s Berry Farm.

It’s also funny how they got a guy to celebrate legalized baby killing.  Consequence-free sex has been a leftist dream ever since Margaret Sanger was invited to her first KKK rally, but it’s men that have the most to gain from ready access to abortion.  They get all the fun and none of the messy medical complications or the increased risk of suicide  Just don’t accuse them of not caring for women’s health.

After the creepiness has worn off, the ad is refreshing in it’s morbid honesty.  Like the Lena Dunham/First Time campaign spot, the horny nihilists at the Center For Reproductive Rights are gleefully pandering to the lowest common denominator: “Let’s have sex then get rid of the inconvenient kid that results.”

We get no sob stories about women denied access to ‘vital’ ‘health care’.  The pro-abortionists don’t gin up some statistically negligible scenarios to tug at our heart strings.  Nope.  Instead we get the inhuman bump-and-grind brutality at the core of the state-sanctioned baby killer movement delivered to us straight.

The pro-lifers are disappointed that Roe v Wade is still operational.  It’s ugly that such an unconstitutional and immoral ruling still stands.  But there is one thing the anti-abortion activists can take solace in.  Never before has the febrile murderous heart of the abortion rights mob been so visible.  This means those who value human life will no longer have to fight against the shadowy obfuscations formerly used by the pro-‘choice’ movement.

UPDATE:  Matt over at Conservative Hideout did a post on this clip too.  Check it out.

The video is made by a joint called Draw the Line.  They apparently think that $9.00 a month birth control is a “luxury item” that only the wealthy can afford.

The weirdest thing about the last year’s War on Women dance craze was the idea that spending the same money as two McDonald’s meal deals was a serious financial burden.  But Obama won on that bullshit, so I guess it was all just the opening gambit.  Since our government is now breaking the Catholic Church over it’s knee and making them pay for everybody’s rubbers, it’s only a matter of time before the country gets inured to taxpayer-sponsored abortion.

That’s the hope of pro-abortion groups, anyway.

Posted in Celebutards!, Domestic Happenings | Tagged: , , | 16 Comments »

David Gregory Gets To Skate, Ben Shapiro Makes Piers Morgan Irate

Posted by KingShamus on January 13, 2013

Priveleges

Not surprising.

District of Columbia Attorney General Irvin Nathan issued a lengthy letter today explaining the decision not to prosecute David Gregory “despite the clarity of the violation of this important law,” despite rejecting NBC’s claims of a subjective misunderstanding of the law, and despite vowing vigorous enforcement of gun laws.

But it’s not like this Important Sophisticated Celebrity Journalist got any special favors.  Gregory’s wife is totally not BFF’s with the DC attorney general or anything.

Oh, wait… 

For a reporter, David “Laws For Thee Not Me” Gregory is a great dancer.

DANCE PLAYBOY DANCE!

Now that’s how you do “Gangam Style”, kids.

Meanwhile, Piers Morgan continued to make the case for a highly restrictive immigration policy against disgraced British tabloid editors by having a patronizing sneer-fest with Breitbart editor Ben Shapiro.  Watch for yourself.  Seeing an English know-it-all shoot himself in the foot (see what I did there?) is must-see TV.

Go to 10:10 to catch the real magic.  Everybody is talking about Beerz Morguecrotch calling the US Constitution “your little book”, but that’s just the obvious self-pwnage.  No, the really cool bit is when CNN dude holds up the Ronald Reagan letter and tries to club Shapiro over the head with it.

What is it with the liberal fetish for self-defeating interview props?  First David Gregory waves an illegal 30 round magazine in Wayne LaPierre’s face, then Pierce Organ throws a Gipper quote at Shapiro that promptly does nothing but make the  reasonable host gun control fanatic look stupid.  It’s like media leftists have to have some kind of comforting woobby to soothe themselves when going up against evil reich-wing thugs.

Prop reporting is sorta like prop comedy.  The Amazing Jonathan is often brilliant.  Gallagher can be funny as hell.  Carrot Top will stumble onto a decent bit every year or so.  People pay good money to see these guys do their thing.  Yet even with all that, there is a stigma against comedians who work with props.  Other stand-up guys look down on them.  Comedy nerds use prop comics as a punchline.

I think people hate on these guys because the prop is seen–rightly or wrongly–as a crutch.  It’s like if they didn’t have the sledgehammer or the treasure box full of crap or whatever, they wouldn’t be able to make a joke.  Again, your mileage may vary when it comes to prop comics, but that seems to be the critique against them.

When a reporter uses a prop to make his point, especially when using it against a guest, it’s sorta the same thing.  Couldn’t homeboy use his j-school big boy words to make the same point?  Does he have to have the prop to make the segment work?

During the David Gregory/Wayne LaPierre dust-up, the Meet The Press host wanted to put the NRA veep in his place–‘You love these death instruments more than you care about kids.’  Too bad for Gregory that LaPierre didn’t take the bait.  Instead, Gregory made himself look stupid.  And broke the laws that he wants everyone else to follow.

Morgan’s use of the Reagan letter was a little different.  There, he tried to use the 40th president’s position on assault weapons as a wedge to separate Shapiro from a conservative icon.  Unfortunately for Morgan, admiring Reagan doesn’t mean blind obeisance to every one of his positions.  That made it tough for him to beat up on Shapiro, so Morgan’s snippy moral outrage skit fell apart.

Far be it from me to tell the genius liberal media how to run their shows.  If they wanna keep using prop reportage, go ahead.  After all, how could anybody quibble with Piers Morgan’s sky-high ratings?

Posted in Celebutards!, Media Silliness | Tagged: , , , , | 6 Comments »

“The Last Stand” Trailer and Jaimie Alexander

Posted by KingShamus on January 4, 2013

Oh look, Arnold Schwarzenegger is back making movies again.

I guess he’s been back at it since “The Expendables”, but this is the first post-Governator film where he’s the lead.  At least that I can remember.  Whatevs.

My inner 8th grader wants to like Arnold as an action movie dude again.  His work from “Conan the Barbarian” to right around the mid-90’s is pretty much untouchable.  On the other hand, his running of California was damn near impeachable.  Ahhhnold ran as the anti-Gray Davis, then proceeded to become…Gray Davis.

On the other other hand, a sixty-five year old guy is trying to do what he does best.  Fine.  Good luck with that, homie.

Co-starring with Schwarzenegger is up and coming actress Jaimie Alexander.  She’s best known from the Thor flick that came out a while back.  And, yeah, she’s kinda cute.

Jaimie Alexander

Jaimie Alexander, one more time

Jaimie Alexander, nice pins

Jaimie Alexander again

Jaimie Alexander, enabling alcoholism

So this woman is an up and coming actress who is not shy about her looks or her drinking habits.

Fair enough.

But I have to draw the line at dog-eating.

Jaimie Alexander dog eater

For shame, Jaimie Alexander.  For shame.

I posted pics of this attractive lady for many reasons.  Mostly because Manhattan Infidel and Bunkerville gave me crap about the lack of Rule Five posts lately.  What can I say?  I succumb to peer pressure.

Posted in Celebutards!, The Posts of Morale | Tagged: , , , , | 5 Comments »

Al Gore Sells Current Network To Al-Jazeera

Posted by KingShamus on January 3, 2013

Al "Cash Money" Gore

Alternate Headline:  Two Bloated Government-Subsidized Anti-American Entities Collide.

Al Jazeera, the pan-Arab news giant, has long tried to convince Americans that it is a legitimate news organization, not a parrot of Middle Eastern propaganda or something more sinister.

It just bought itself 40 million more chances to make its case.

Al Jazeera on Wednesday announced a deal to take over Current TV, the low-rated cable channel that was founded by Al Gore, a former vice president, and his business partners seven years ago. Al Jazeera plans to shut Current and start an English-language channel, which will be available in more than 40 million homes, with newscasts emanating from both New York and Doha, Qatar.

“Low-rated”?

Current doesn’t even sorta compete with bottom-crawler MSNBC.

Whatevs.  If the Old Grey Lady wants to soft-pedal Al Gore’s failure as a broadcaster, that’s fine.  Every breathless teeny-bopper wants to believe her idol is infallible.

Now, here’s the best part.

Mr. Gore and his partners were eager to complete the deal by Dec. 31, lest it be subject to higher tax rates that took effect on Jan. 1, according to several people who insisted on anonymity because they were not authorized to speak publicly.

Because when Mitt Romney uses legal ways to avoid taxes, he’s a ghoulish blood-sucker.  When Al Gore does it, there is nothing to see here.  Thank for clearing that up, New York Times.

UPDATE:  Time Warner Cable liked this deal so much they dropped Al-Gorezeeeera from their channel roster.  Hey Qatari media geniuses–if you’ve got $500 million dollars just laying around doing nothing, this blog is officially for sale.  Direct message me on Twitter.  Let’s make some magic happen.

Posted in Celebutards!, Media Silliness | Tagged: , | 2 Comments »

KingShamus’ Best of 2012

Posted by KingShamus on December 31, 2012

Hey, here’s some of my old crap! If there’s any consolation, I picked two or three posts from each month.  That should limit the suckage.  I know, this is sorta lame, but if I Instapundit can do it, so can I.

January

Mitt Romney Sucks And I Miss Reagan

Music Monday Zep – ‘We’re Gonna Groove” by the mighty Led Zeppelin

February

Beer Review – Assorted Samuel Adams Winter Suds

Mike Bloomberg’s Very Busy Week

Presidential Election Doomwatch–Placing The Blame For Mitt Romney’s Ascendency

March

Support Conservative Political Mommy Bloggers!

Ameritopia and the Fable of The Frogs

Barack, Trayvon and The 2012 Election

April

President Barack ‘Dog Meat’ Obama Is An Admitted Dog Meat Eater Who Has Eaten Dog Meat

Rick Santorum’s Exit

May

Wait, Faster Than Light Travel Isn’t Hip in Science Fiction Anymore?

Music Review – ‘Harmonicraft’ by Torche

DeWayne Wickham: Get Back On The Democrat Plantation, Gay Republicans!

June

Municipal Debt Bombs: The Other Source Of Fiscal Collapse

Because Fashion Is A Passion For The With-It And Hip

Grade School Bully Gets Bullied By His Teacher Who Is In Fact A Bully

July

The Shootings At Aurora-A Real Villain and Real Heroes

Hey Everybody! ‘The Obama Effect’ Is Coming Out Today!

General Electric and Barack Obama: The Magical Relationship Continues

August

Why Clint Eastwood’s Republican Convention Speech Worked

Nathan Lane: Prince Barry’s Court Jester

Hey @MSNBC! Here Are All The Speeches You Didn’t Cover From Last Night’s #RNC.

September

NFL Replacement Refs Making The Game’s Faults All Too Obvious

The US Doesn’t Have To Fix The Middle East

Who Could’ve Foreseen The Highly Unlikely Scenario Of Terrorism At The US Consulate In Benghazi?

October

#MyFirstTime–Best Political Ad…EVAH?

DVD Review–Prometheus

November

(Really, can’t we skip this month?  It was sorta yucky.)

Mayor Mike Bloomberg: “The NYC Marathon is on; let the boroughs eat running shoes” (Update!)

Post-Presidential Election 2012: Splitting Headache Edition

Personal Values, Political Choices

Lawrence O’Donnell Was For Secession Before It Was Cool!

December

Living And Breathing Left-Wing Politics

Guns Crime Facts, Gun Crime Feelings

Okay folks, there you have it.

BDKS 2012 is done.  On to the new year.  Thank God.

Also, thanks for stopping by Blog De KingShamus.  The readers and commenters are who make this place cool.  For that I am humbled and grateful.   Happy New Year and may your 2013 be full of happiness, success and a fully-stocked MRE bin.

Posted in Celebutards!, Critiques, Domestic Happenings, Foreign doings, Media Silliness, Politicians behaving badly, The Social Scene, The Sporting Life | Tagged: , | 4 Comments »

Demand Celebrities Go Fuck Themselves

Posted by KingShamus on December 31, 2012

Hollywood, in conjunction with Mayors Against Illegal Guns (Second Amendment hater Mike Bloomberg’s pet project), have an answer for gun violence.  Thank God.  I was wondering when the people who get paid to make pretend in front of a camera would tell me what to think about complex political issues.

Let the over-compensated shitbag moralism commence!

I know I feel way more enlightened by watching Sarah Silverman and Will Farrell put on their best acting school pouty-faces.

This video came out a few weeks ago, and I wasn’t going to comment on it.

Fortunately Youtube contributor Ma5one picked up the slack with his own rebuttal.

Seriously, Hollywood.

Go.

Fuck.

Yourselves.

The entertainment business makes a fortune glorifying guns and gun violence.  Ask Beyonce’s hubby Jay-Z how many records he would’ve sold if he’d pushed a consciousness rap style rather than his big pimpin’ pistol-poppin’ persona.  When Jon Hamm isn’t playing a chain-smoking boozed-up scumbag, he’s a gun-toting tough guy.  The only film where Jamie Foxx isn’t spraying a Bushmaster like a garden hose is “Ray”, and that’s only because the title character is a blind piano player.

Then these same moronic drugged-out degenerates, who require an army of stylists, hairdressers and make-up artists just to get out of the house, think they can lecture the rest of us about guns.

Here’s a hint for conservatives:  Hollywood hates you.  They loathe your politics.  They despise your traditional faith.  They do everything they can to denigrate your lifestyle choices.

Oh, don’t get me wrong.  La-La Land loves your money.  They don’t get paid if you don’t buy their wares.

Now, I’m not saying you shouldn’t watch movies or tv shows or listen to music.  You don’t have to pull out of the culture.  That’s sorta silly and counter-productive.

Instead of boycotting the entertainment industry, subvert them and their cretinous morality.  Mock them anywhere, anytime and anyhow you can.  Laugh at them without mercy.

They like to think of themselves as the brightest stars in America’s enlightened class.  If that’s the case, how come they all talk the same way and think the same way and whine the same way about every fucking thing ever?  Make fun of their brainless herd mentality.  Hit them where it hurts, their faux-intellectualism.  Get past their outer crust of smug do-goodery.  They know they’re idiots.  Constantly remind them–and everybody else–of that fact.

Make them live by their own rules.  For instance, Hollywood actors push radical environmentalism every chance they get.  Meanwhile, they have carbon footprints bigger than some countries.  None of these hypocrites could live the ascetic goat-herder lifestyle they demand we embrace.

It really isn’t that hard.  These are people who have to be told what to say and what to do and where to shop.  Other people write their scripts and pen their songs.  Besides playing guitar, impersonating somebody else and shooting heroin these people have no discernible talents.  They’re actors and musicians, for God’s sake.  We’re not talking about rocket surgeons.

Posted in Celebutards! | Tagged: , , , , | 4 Comments »

Living And Breathing Left-Wing Politics

Posted by KingShamus on December 11, 2012

Bob Belvedere points out a strength–or is it a weakness?–of the Left’s mindset.

For the Left every aspect of life is, indeed, political — it has to be for any Ideologue. This is because an Ideologue sees everything as needing to conform to the system of ideas they have accepted as being necessary for Life to be good and worthy.

The Ideologue designs a blueprint for how Life must proceed and every material to be used in it is governed by the design. Any deviation and the structure risks becoming unstable. Like a building plan, an Ideology must be followed to the letter and, therefore, it has to dictate the specifications for everything needed to make a building efficient [electrical, plumbing, HVAC, etc.]. Thus, an Ideology must encompass every facet of Life. It must pervade every nook and cranny.

Read the whole thing.  It’s strong work.

Just to build on Bob’s idea, think about progressives and how they relate to their cultural signifiers.

For many people on the Left, Jon Stewart is a comedic genius.  He’s also the scourge of evil Rethuglicans.  He’s also the voice of a generation.  He’s also a total dreamboat.

Sorry ladies, he's taken.

Sorry ladies, he’s taken.

It’s just too bad he and his buddy Stephen Colbert don’t get the same ratings as “Swamp People”–even when you add the viewers of The Daily Show and The Colbert Report together.

But because Jon Stewart is a vociferous liberal who routinely buttresses leftist assumptions, he is covered in accolades far beyond his actual influence or ability.

The mental and emotional gymnastics needed to be a liberal must be exhausting.  You have to support undertalented overrated court jesters.  You have to laugh at their tired clap-humor.  You have to recite their dopey bits at parties as if they were the second coming of Richard Pryor.

And that just covers the television socialists that have to be fawned over.  There are many musicians who put their liberal politics well ahead of their songs.  From Bon Jovi to Bruce Springsteen, the pop world if chock full of lippy leftists who haven’t made relevant music for decades because they’re too busy to sniffing the Democrat Party’s jock.  Those luminaries of the left must be coddled and worshiped as well.

The best recent example of Karl Marx getting a permanent invite to a recording studio is Green Day, seen here acting ‘zany, yet disaffected’.

"Support Cap-N-Trade, or I will choke out Tre Cool and Billy Joe!"

Sorry ladies, they’re dip-shits.

If you recall, Green Day was a post-grunge snot punk band who had pretty much worn out their welcome with music fans right around the point when “Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)” became the feel-meh overplayed hit of 1997.  After that triumph of tedium the group released a folkie rock album that went directly into the bargain bins.  A pair of greatest hits/b-sides compilations killed some time as the new millennium rolled along.  For a while, it seemed like Green Day might do the honorable thing and break up due to lack of interest.

By 2004, most of the American public graduated from middle school and moved on from Green Day.  The dream of one day living in a world untainted by Bill Joe Armstrong’s pathetic fake-British accent was almost a glorious reality, but the band still had one more trick to play: Knee-Jerk George Bush Bashing.  Even though the group had largely eschewed political statements throughout their career,  American Idiot was rock opera based around the astoundingly novel concept that America is awful, traditional values are a cancer and neoconservatives are ghouls.

Naturally, American Idiot was a huge hit that revitalized the band’s career, mostly because it courageously told Hollywood and the New York Times exactly what they already believed.  Green Day became the go-to band for college freshmen looking for My First Agitprop while providing pop-culture cover for the arm-patch jacket hipster brigades.  With “Boulevard of Broken Dreams” grinding away on the ipod, one could finally read Noam Chomsky’s “Manufacturing Dissent” without immediately falling asleep.

The problem is that as a piece of art  American Idiot is jaw-droppingly weak.  Besides the title track’s frenetic energy, the songs just aren’t there.  The album is too polished for punk, too emo for metal and too pop-oriented for either.

As muddled as that sounds, the real sonic failing is the pair of overambitious 9 minute long song/suites.  Making a rock opera is difficult when the writers have talent. It’s even harder when lead guitarist Billy Joe Armstrong has only a tenuous grasp of his instrument. “Jesus of Suburbia” in particular is a cobbled-together dog’s lunch of decent to mediocre guitar riffs interspersed with Billy Joe’s faux-literate complaints about small town America.  The lyrics are tedious, but the song itself suffers from the lazy transitions and ramshackle construction of the tune’s not-so-great components.

If American Idiot was not a pointed blast of hate directed at George Bush and red state America, there is no way the media and the progressive movement (alas, I have repeated myself) would’ve lauded Green Day to the degree they did.  If American Idiot’s lyrical content had been apolitical, it would’ve been perceived as just another craptastic Green Day disc.  No loving reviews, no Grammy awards, no high-toned Broadway adaptation–none of that would’ve occurred based strictly on the artistic merits of  American Idiot.

In other words, liberals had to talk up a ham-fisted piece of creative shit just because it aligned with their socialist tastes.

This is no way to live.  It’s emotionally barren and neutered.  We on the Right should avoid this trap with all our strength.

I keep making this observation, but I think it’s worth making several dozen more times: Although conservatives pride themselves on “Not worshipping the government” and “having interests and lives outside of politics” — as contrasted with liberals — in fact, if you consume conservative media, you will find our media completely rubbishes that claim, because the expressly conservative media is almost entirely about government and politics.

Even when the conservative media notes the occasional fiction book, the review is often largely about what the book says about politics or morality. That is, even in a review of fiction we seem over-concerned with the politically didactic usefulness of art.

No insult to Matthew Condinetti, and I should note it’s not exclusively about those things — I cite this just as a for-instance. I see this a lot. K-Lo will put in a positive review for an Adam Sandler-produced movie like Deuce Bigelow (yeah, I think I remembered she liked it), but will spend the bulk of her praise talking about how the movie illustrates Deuce’s central decency and how that is a Good Message and… yawn.

Is it a funny movie? Does it achieve its goals? Does it entertain? Does it provoke? Those are the proper grounds for review of a film or book. Sure, given a conservative audience, you’d also want to note the objectionable material or positive messages in a sentence or two, to alert conservative-minded people about them. But such things are not properly the main grounds for appreciation of a fiction.

Rest the rest of Ace’s piece.  It’s very good.

Here’s something that may sound a little too simple, but it’s still true–Conservatives should critique art.  Conservatives should confront the culture head on.  More importantly, conservatives should get a glove and get in the game of creating art.  What conservatives should not do is automatically get behind a movie or book just because it’s sympathetic to the Right.

Let the Left have a monopoly on being knee-jerk applause clowns. By all means progressives, keep barking like trained seals for corrupt propaganda pieces.  Liberals have already more than filled America’s quota for sycophantic entertainment knob-polishers.

Posted in Celebutards!, Domestic Happenings | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

#MyFirstTime–Best Political Ad…EVAH?

Posted by KingShamus on October 25, 2012

Courtesy of the greatest presidential campaign in the history of campaigns and campaigning.

You know what’s going to definitely win over undecided voters in Ohio?  Poorly delivered improv hipster jokes. “Look at me. I’m a sad meek little nerdlington with a double Master’s Degree in Gender Studies and Bong-Hits. Watch as I fop around obliquely mentioning Obama’s accomplishments while comparing the act of voting to losing your v-card to a corrupt lying politician.”

Or is the ad directed at comedy geeks?  The Sarah Silverman caucus is getting some serious fan-service here.  Somebody in Chicago thinks this is the big voting bloc that’ll put St. Barry over the top in this election.  Axelrod really needs to lay off ‘Funny or Die’.

By the way, I have no idea who Lena Dunham is.  Nor do I care.  If I’m not a fan of Rachel Maddow, why would I be stoked to watch her less-talented body double?

I guess Ms. Dunham is on some cable TV show.  That’s cool.  If she’s getting paid anything over minimum wage to be not-funny on tv, she’s guilty of theft.  Also I want to hire her obviously amazing super-agent.

Let’s get beyond the creepiness of the clip.  It was made by card-carrying members of the Left’s great religious movement.  One of the most important tenets of the faith is the hyper-sexualization of their Great Super Cocksman.  From Candy Crowley to Bill Maher, many progressives are dying to make babies with Barack Obama.  Lena Dunham is just the latest liberal to profess her love for the cutest widdle political puppy dog.

No, what’s really great about this clip is the undertone of sweaty desperation.  Team Barry spent time and money on a vulgar premise yawned out by a D-list television actress that nobody cares about because they thought it would move the needle towards Obama.  Let me repeat–this is an ad they believed would help convince a measurable quantity of the electorate to vote for the President.

Obama didn’t toot his horn over his stewardship of the economy or his handling of the Benghazi attack.  None of those  stellar presidential victories made the cut.  But half-assed ‘War On Women’ bullshit which fell flat with voters last March?  Lets roll with that.

Mitt Romney wants to talk about creating jobs, cutting the deficit and reigning in runaway entitlements.  Barack Obama wants to turn the polling booth into a Democrat Party boudoir.  Which one sounds reasonable and which one sounds repellent and intrusive?

RELATED:  Check out The Other McCain’s Virginia analysis.  Read the whole thing, then ask yourself if the Lena Dunham advertisement embarrassment is gonna change anybody’s mind in the Old Dominion.

Posted in Celebutards!, Politicians behaving badly | Tagged: , , | 13 Comments »

Nathan Lane: Prince Barry’s Court Jester

Posted by KingShamus on August 25, 2012

It’s springtime for Obama in the Hamptons.

“I love Nurse Jackie, she can’t get through the day without Vicodin, Adderall, Percocet, Xanax and Oxycodone­—which, oddly enough, also happens to be the names of Mitt Romney’s five children,”

Nathan Lane at a Obama fundraiser…

It’s a good thing the organizers of this rubber chicken dinner hired a first-rate comedic genius like Nathan Lane. Leave it to him to make the hilarious connection between a narcotic-addicted fictional TV character and Mitt Romney’s five grown sons, none of which have ever been accused of having drug problems.  Add to that how Vicodin, Adderall, Percocet, Xanax and Oxycodone sound just like Taggart, Matthew, Joshua, Benjamin and Craig.  Lane simply had to go with such a great bit.

Jeeebus.

Folks on the right are gonna get mad because a Hollywood liberal made fun of Romney’s sons, who are not running for political office.  The thing is, after the last four years nobody in the conservative movement should be shocked when actors and musicians throw cheap shots at the children of Republican politicians.  As much as the political wing of the socialist movement constantly calls for civil discourse, they can always count on their allies in the entertainment division to blow right through any rules that put family members off-limits.

This is one reason why the progressive alliance with the American media puts conservatives at a huge disadvantage.  Democrat politicians can always stay above the fray.  They can play the high-minded thinker act for the public with the knowledge that somebody from Hollywood will gladly break every rhetorical limit to score a shot against Republicans and conservatives.

But that’s not the worst thing.  I keep hearing how Nathan Lane is a wonderous comedic talent.  Where was that genius for getting laughs when he wrote the ‘Romney kid’s’ bit?  The joke only works if you’re a brainless trained-seal Romney hater: “ROMNEY’S KIDZ ARE NAMED DRUGS!!!!  DRUGS FUNNY!!!!  HAR-DEE-HAR!!!!”

I mean, I guess Nathan Lane should get some credit for understanding the desires of his audience.

Then again, what does it say about the rich Obama supporters that they respond to such a hacky stupid ham-handed joke?

Posted in Celebutards! | Tagged: , , , | 10 Comments »

Taylor Swift Is Dating a Kennedy–What Could Go Wrong?

Posted by KingShamus on August 5, 2012

This is forever.

Over the Fourth of July,Taylor Swift was photographed hugging Patrick Schwarzenegger, Maria Shriver’s son. But now it appears that Conor Kennedy, the son of Robert Kennedy Jr. and the late Mary Kennedy, is actually Taylor’s love interest. He is pictured just to the right of Swift in the same photo – and the two have been spending lots of time together.

I for one think it’s nice  that Taylor Swift has decided to stoop down to hook up with a member of the woefully overlooked ‘scrawny trust fund jerkweed’ demographic.  That’s very sweet of her.  If this relationship gets greater media attention, ‘TayCon’ will be the new ‘Bennifer’.

But at least one man sees trouble a-brewin’ with this new celebrity couple.  Bob Belvedere, take it away.

Miss Swift: I am not a fan of your music, but what few songs I have heard seem rather entertaining. You’re a young woman with a great future ahead of you because you obviously have talent, good looks, and, by all accounts, a crackerjack personality. There’s so much you can accomplish creatively and, one hopes, spiritually. So please give a listen to an aging man who has lived in New England all his life where he has been surrounded by Kennedys since, literally, he was born in 1961:

Gather all of your things and RUN AWAY — get the Hell out of the Kennedy’s reach. Do it before they embrace you and subject you to the soul-crushing experience dozens of women before you have endured.

Read the whole thing.  Right now.

In the 21st century, what exactly is the appeal of Clan Kennedy?

I dunno if I’m speaking out of school here, but it’s not 1958.  Everybody should understand by now that the Kennedy men have a deep abiding family tradition of using women like old gym socks.  We have scads of books, interviews, documentaries and websites devoted to the subject.  It’s as much a part of our collective historical and cultural knowledge as Elvis Presley’s drug use or Michael Jackson’s intense weirdness or Jay-Z’s massive ego.  It’s a very known thing.

Yet even with all that, there are still women who tempt fate and date Kennedy dudes.

One could make the argument that chicks flock to America’s self-styled royal family because of the money and influence.  Despite the fact that a lot of the luster has worn off the Kennedy name, it’s still associated with wealth and political power by many people in the States.  Even at this late date, being connected to the Kennedys grants a person access to the upper echelons of American life.

But knowing all that doesn’t really excuse the women who hook up with Kennedy males.  Even though Barack Obama has done his damnedest to weed out the evil 1 percenters from our land, there are still plenty of super-wealthy men in America to choose from.  A lot of these guys have social and political connections that rival the Kennedy’s power base.  If you’re a gal and you want to date rich dudes, you’re not exactly limited to rammy alcoholic blowhard Irishmen from Taxachuessetts.

Hey, I could be way off here.  This might just be a casual fling for Taylor Swift.  Or the country music songbird and the son of Hyaniss Port aristocracy could live happily ever after.  Or it could be a big nothingburger with a side order of rumor mill trimmings and half-truth special sauce.

Whatever.  The Kennedy men are still prone to extreme dickbaggery when it comes to their female companions.  Canoodle at your own risk, Taylor.

Oh yeah–here is the meme:

Posted in Celebutards!, The Social Scene | Tagged: , , , , | 8 Comments »

 
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