Blog de KingShamus

"When an entire nation thirsted to break free from PC…Andrew Breitbart opened a big bar."–Chris Muir

Archive for the ‘Chuckles’ Category

Gun Safety–How It’s Not Done

Posted by KingShamus on June 30, 2013

Brought to you by XBRADTC over at Bring The Heat, Bring The Stupid.

Downside:  Future Darwin Award nominee.

Upside:  Ventilated hat.

More:  I’m very sorry for the long radio silence, homies.  I’m still on Twitter, making fun of liberals and stuff.  But yeah, posting on the ol’ bloggerino has been pretty damn sparse.  Meatspace life has conspired to make me a dull boy on the teh intertubes.

Please forgive me for my spectacular lameness.

Hopefully I’ll get better at time management and get back to rocking out on the blog soon.

Posted in Chuckles | Tagged: , , | 6 Comments »

Manhattan Infidel’s Best of 2012

Posted by KingShamus on January 2, 2013

I dunno about you, but all this political talk gets me down sometime.  2012 was sort of a bummer.  No matter what happens, the fiscal cliff deal is a trainwreck getting nuked in a supernova.

That’s why I read Manhattan Infidel.

For those of you who don’t know, Manhattan Infidel…’Mister Infidel’, if you’re nasty…has been serving up fresh helpings of politically-tinged pop culture-friendly satire on teh intertubes for almost six hundred years.  In that time, I don’t think he’s ever done a ‘best of’ post.  Since he won’t, I figured I’d do one for him.

Enjoy!

January

Stop, Drop and Roll! (What to do in the Event of a Liberal Outbreak)

Help Chaz Bono Get a Penis!

February

Muslims Outraged!

Happy Blogoversary! The Leakage Edition

March

Your Guide to the Upcoming Race War Between Blacks and White Hispanics

Lonely Men Flock to Georgetown!

April

Secret Service to Increase Whore Stipends

My Exclusive Interview with President Barack Obama’s Dog

May

More Victims of Romney’s Bullying Come Forward

An Intimate Conversation with the Polish Ambassador to the United States

June

From the Manhattan Infidel Future Archives: Fifty Years Later – A Look Back at the Historic Obamacare Supreme Court Decision

Manhattan Infidel’s Favorite Cherokee Recipes

July

Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson Break Up; Was the Tea Party Responsible?

The Obama Effect: The Director’s Cut

How to Safely Observe Obama

August

Yankees Lose; Declare War on Women

Manhattan Infidel Presents Your (Updated) Updated Kennedy Malfeasance Template™

Blogging: Pros and Cons

September

Madonna Threatens to Strip Naked if Obama Wins Reelection; Polls Surge For Romney

Ferocious Cherokee Warrior Addresses DNC

October

My First Time by Lena Dunham

Manhattan Infidel Presents Your Middle Eastern Man Arrested for Bomb Plot but We’re Still Confused as to his Motive Template™

November

America Votes for Free Stuff

Manhattan Infidel Presents Your Lindsay Lohan Malfeasance Template™

What Would Chris Christie Do for a Chance to Get a Hug From Bruce Springsteen?

December

Manhattan Infidel’s Exciting Book Deal!

Lonely Lesbian Librarian Oppressed by Patriarchy

Okay, folks there you have it.  The best of Manhattan Infidel, 2012 edition.  At least as I see things.  Feel free to differ with me in the comments.

Why not go over to his place and check out what he has going on in this brand spanking new year?

Posted in Chuckles | Tagged: , | 3 Comments »

Merry Christmas 2012

Posted by KingShamus on December 25, 2012

Kris Kringle’s Good Behavior/Bad Behavior Surveillance Program went from “charming” to “Orwellian” overnight.

Surveillance

Santa Claus:  Just another liberal fascist?

More importantly…Dear BDKS homies, have a very Merry Christmas.

I hope jolly ole Saint Nick gives you everything on your wish list, without all the newfangled voyeuristic spying.

I also want to say thanks to all the readers who come to Blog De KingShamus.  You guys and gals rule.  Thanks for stopping by and making this goofy little webzone cool.  My posts always get intelligent commentary, often smarter than the actual posts themselves.  That’s pretty awesome and for that you have my eternal gratitude.

So Merry Christmas to you, Gentle Readers.  May you be blessed with faith and fellowship on this great holiday.  Stay safe in your travels.  Keep the reason for the season in your hearts.

Also, wearing a tin-foil hat to stop Santa’s mind-reading rays might not be a bad idea either.  ;-p

Posted in Chuckles, Domestic Happenings, The Social Scene | Tagged: , , , , | 2 Comments »

#FutureChildrenProject–Best Political Ad…EVAH? (Part 2)

Posted by KingShamus on October 29, 2012

The ‘Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm–Barack Hussein Obama Children’s Choir’  were unavailable for this gig.

Shorter Future Children Project:  Report your Romney-supporting parents to the Ministry of Love today!

Notice the concerns the makers of this propaganda place into the mouths of children.  Endangered polar bears?  Not even Premier Obama thinks that.  Rampant strip mines dotting the American landscape?  That’s news to the miners.  Conservatives think our failing schools are good enough?  That must be why Milton Friedman was a proponent of school choice reform since the Eisenhower Administration.  Endless wars?  Here’s another ten years of Obama drone strikes, you worthless hypocritical peace-creeps.

What’s really amazing is wayback machine quality of the ad.  The Left always accuses conservatives of wanting to travel back in time, but who is actually living in the past?  The writers of the douchey bit act as if Barack Obama is still Captain Jesus-Man Lightbringer promising lower ocean levels and lower middle class tax rates.  The last four years–$5 trillion dollars of debt, sky high unemployment, economic illiteracy–never happened for these progressives.

Or maybe this ad is just meant to stir the turd.  The only people that might even sorta respond are die hard Obama fanbois and right-wingers making fun of them.  So it’s not really a campaign spot that’s meant to get people to the polls.  It’s more like the flip-side of Jon Stewart’s clap humor.

Okee-dokee.  It’s your dime, Future Children Project.  Enjoy your pointless uninspiring performance art.

I spotted this over at the terrific Coalition of The Swilling.  Thanks, Mr. Bingley.

Posted in Chuckles, Media Silliness | Tagged: , | 5 Comments »

NFL Quarterbacks Facebook Chat

Posted by KingShamus on October 28, 2012

So Hurricane Sandy is headed up the Beast Coast.  I’m gonna be busy tying down my shit down so it doesn’t become the Flying Gazebo of Massive Property Damage, so I’ll keep this brief.

Check out these totally-real, not-fake Facebook conversations between NFL players.

Here’s last week’s episode.

Warning:  Lots and lots of foul language, so NSFW.

 

 

Big ups to my homie Brian for hooking me up with the link.  Thanks, man.

Also–stay safe during Sandy, everyone.

Posted in Chuckles | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

“I Want Money Or I’ll Vote For Obama”

Posted by KingShamus on September 20, 2012

This can’t be real…can it?

 

The one slightly tipsy guy layers and layers of fact-checkers here at Blog De KingShamus say, “Too good to check!”

Say–if voter ID laws are racist, does this count for voter suppression?

I snagged this from Dean L over at Nonsensible Shoes.  Strong Canadian conservatives do exist!  Read his post on economic freedom too.  Great stuff.

Posted in Chuckles | Tagged: , , | 6 Comments »

Inherited Messes

Posted by KingShamus on September 15, 2012

There was a lot of talk at last week’s Democrat National Convention of the hardships and challenges left behind by the Premier Dumbya regime that Barack Obama had to deal with when he became President.

I know what you’re thinking.

I too am shocked that the Democrats, normally loathe to blame George Bush for any problem, would turn to pinning Obama’s problems on the previous administration.

Leave it to the great Opus_6 at the American Perspective blog to give us some…ummm…perspective on the President’s blame games.

Consider just one way that our Fiscal Pyromaniac-in-Chief has poured napalm all over the Great Recession.  ObamaCare hangs over the US economy like a death shroud.  In the coming years, insane taxes hikes and massive new regulatory structures promise to choke any possible recovery in the womb.

George Bush didn’t demand that Obama employ the hated individual mandate in his socialized medicine plans.  George Bush didn’t force Obama to give Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi carte blanche when it came to writing a nationalized health care scheme.  George Bush didn’t make Obama sign a 2000 page abomination that will put a permanent wet blanket on the American economy.  St. Bambi did all that on his own.

Furthermore, the Democrats and the dinosaur media (sorry, I repeated myself) spent the Younger Bush years portraying G-Dub as a drooling incompetent, incapable of tying his shoes, much less running an economy.  Then President Pitching Wedge and his supporters have the brass to act as if Obama has been hopelessly constrained by George Bush’s clever machinations.

Bear in mind:  This doesn’t even get into other economy killing measures that Obama has a raging Marx-boner for, like Cap-n-Trade, his hatred of fossil fuels, his failed stimulus spending or pretty much his entire domestic agenda.  We’re just talking about ObamaCare.

SORTA RELATED:  Yes, Obama had it tough when he first started out.  Everybody acknowledges this.  At the same time, he’s the one who ran for the job.  Obama was the one who pined to be President, even with a paper-thin resume, no real-world executive experience and a noted Stalinist dickbag domestic terrorist for a political mentor.

Obama knew the economy was going to be in shambles when he took over.  He understood the housing market collapse, the derivatives crunch and everything else that went into the recession.  And yet, here we are, four years later and the guy is still pissing his pants about how tough he had it in 2009 and how hard it is for him now.

So America is supposed to wring our collective hands and give Obama the Victim-in-Chief a do-over because he’s such a glorious human being.  He and his sycophants want the US electorate to treat St. Barry of the Holy Participant Ribbon like a child who had no idea what he was getting into when he ran for fifth grade sophomore class  president.  Citizens, ignore Obambi’s failures; he’s a nice guy and a great dad and devoted husband and doggone it, he cares.

Except when he doesn’t.

Posted in Chuckles, Politicians behaving badly | Tagged: , , , | 6 Comments »

National Empty Chair Day

Posted by KingShamus on September 3, 2012

Pic Courtesy Of Legal Insurrection.

Say, did you hear?  Barack Obama still occupies the Presidency.  Don’t believe me?  Check out his own tweet, confirming it.

Awwwwww, that’s so sweet of our President to remind America that he is still a whiny ineffective twerp who lets even the slightest mockery from an 82 year old man rattle him.

In any case, just to help Premier Barry O’Criesalot get over his hypersensitivity issues, lets all post pictures of an empty chair.

It’ll be therapeutic for Mr. Obama.  Don’t doubt me.  I’m not a psychologist, but I play one on teh intertubes.

Nice Deb:

Snarky Basterd aka @Snarky_Basterd:

OregonMuse over at Ace’s place.

Jim Treacher:  “Can’t find a job? Gas prices got you down? Bills piling up? Finding it tougher to make ends meet?  Have no fear.  Help has arrived.”

Maggie’s Notebook:

Cripes Suzette:

The great Wyblog:

Gay Patriot:

Me: (Thanks, nephew!)

Anyhoo, post more chair pics in the comments and I’ll update this bad boy.

UPDATE-I promised updates.  Here’s one now.

Darleen Click over at Protein Wisdom:

Here’s more from Nice Deb:

 

Great one by @Rosas77:

 

Posted in Chuckles, Media Silliness | Tagged: , , | 8 Comments »

Bob Is A Racist!

Posted by KingShamus on August 23, 2012

And if Bob is a bigot, all of us have hate in our hearts!  If you you doubt that, watch this handy-dandy educational video.  It’s educational and it’s a video, so it must be true.

See, what did I tell you?  We’re all Junior Member Nazi Trent Lott Jack-Boot Thug Wannabes because we disagree with the President.  If we just start approving of Barack Obama’s policies, maybe we can someday purge ourselves of racial bias.

Thanks to @K_Yoder.

Posted in Chuckles | Tagged: , , | 6 Comments »

The Economy Has REALLY Gone To The Dogs

Posted by KingShamus on August 7, 2012

How can you tell?  Here it is.

 

I found this over at Rachel Veronica’s Pinterest feed.  Great stuff, RV.

Posted in Chuckles | Tagged: | 1 Comment »

Awwwww, the Republican National Committee Sent Barack Obama A Birthday Cake!

Posted by KingShamus on August 3, 2012

How thoughtful!

Some explanatory back story.

The Republican National Committee sent a birthday cake to the Democratic National Committee on Friday. The cake reads “you didn’t bake this” over a picture of President Obama. Text written in icing reads, “Happy birthday, Mr. President.” 

The cake marks the occasion of the president’s birthday, which is Saturday, with a play on the “you didn’t build that” controversy. The RNC later reported the DNC sent the cake back.

You know what that cake tastes like?

Schadenfreude.

Rich.  Sweet.  Fluffy.  Schadenfreude.

Thanks to the great @Stixblog for finding this.  You rule, Stixster.

Related:  The Daley Gator nails the Chick-Fil-A dust-up.

Hahah.

Posted in Chuckles | Tagged: , , | 4 Comments »

Citizen Kane–Tha Remix

Posted by KingShamus on August 3, 2012

Did somebody say, “REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXX!!!!!!!”?????

Rosebuddin’ ain’t easy, ya’all.

Watch out for the awesome Lil’ Jon cameo.

Watch out for some sharp language too.  NSFW warning.

I snagged this from John J. Miller over at National Review’s Corner.  Thanks.

Posted in Chuckles | Tagged: , , , , , | 4 Comments »

2012 Voter Meets 2008 Voter, Hilarity Ensues

Posted by KingShamus on July 27, 2012

Sorry if this has been video/non-posting week.  I’ve been very busy going to the beach cooking awesome barbeque chicken wings shotgunning Miller High Life napping working incredibly hard on a massive project that requires every ounce of my attention.  You know how these things go.

Anyway, being that I pretty much suck this week, how’s about we see what an actual good blogger has for us?

“How’s Dad?”

“He died.”

Ooooooooooooofffff.

Big ups to the great Pat Dollard for the vid.

Posted in Chuckles | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

The Matrix Meets Office Space

Posted by KingShamus on July 25, 2012

Best mash-up of the week.

“I’m gonna need you to go ahead and come in tomorrow…yeaaaahhhhhh.”

Posted in Chuckles | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

The English Language in 24 Accents

Posted by KingShamus on July 7, 2012

I ran across this the other day.  I was thinking it just sorta silly.  Then I saw it had over 9 million hits.

A fairly strong language warning on this little ditty.  Dude loves to drop the f-bomb.  Even worse than Alec Baldwin.

I know.  Shocking, right?

Which one sounds accurate?  Which one(s) does he mess up?

Okay, discuss.

Posted in Chuckles | Tagged: | 4 Comments »

Fourth of July 2012–Ronald Reagan Firing An Uzi While Riding A Velociraptor

Posted by KingShamus on July 4, 2012

with a missile launcher as a back-up.

Happy Fourth of July, homies.

You know how you know this is a great country?  Try putting Angela Merkel, David Cameron or Hu Jintao on that velociraptor.  Yeah, you could slap them on a dinosaur, but it would look absurd.  Reagan is so bad-ass that it works.

In any event, thanks for stopping by the ol’ bloggerino on the best day of the year.  Enjoy this Independence Day.  Celebrate! I hope you eat lots of great food, drink lots of delicious beer and watch awesome explosions.

Great work by Sharpwriter over at DeviantArt.  Also big-time shout out to the one and only Snarky Basterd for the tip.  Thanks, brother.

Posted in Chuckles, Domestic Happenings, The Social Scene | Tagged: , , , , , | 11 Comments »

One Last Comment On The Wisconsin Recall Results

Posted by KingShamus on June 6, 2012

Via the great Tree Hugging Sister over at the ever-awesome Coalition of the Swilling. 

Yes, because when liberals piss their pants and demand a recall and get their wish and then get completely annihilated in the vote; yeah that’s the end of democracy. 

Funny how the 1.3 million voters who cast a ballot for Scott Walker last night weren’t taking part in the democratic process of voting.  Uh-huh.  Of course.

Remember this folks–It was the progressive movement in Wisconsin that screamed bloody murder for a recall.  Not Scott Walker.  Not the Wisconsin GOP.  Not the RNC.  No, this was the progressive movement’s super-genius plan, egged on by rocket surgeons like Rachel Maddow and EJ Dionne. 

Even better, Democratic National Committee Hairdo-in-Chief Debbie Wasserman-Schultz insisted the recall was a dry run for November’s presidential contests.  President Obama bailed the hell out of this thing when he saw the shit was about the hit the fan for Tom Barrett.  Not Wasserman-Schultz.  She brilliantly threw gasoline on the bonfire of a major Democratic loss, helping to turn the Wisconsin recall into a nationwide Thunderdome for everyone to see.    

Now the progs are in full sputtering petulant teenager mode because for once a Republican dared to work the system better than they did.

Remind me why I’m supposed to feel sorry for these people.

Fucking reap the whirlwind you brought upon yourselves, Stalinists.

Hey, maybe this will be a time of reflection for the American left.  Maybe they’ll rethink their priorities.  Maybe they’ll figure out that their ideas are out of step with many Americans.

Mark my words. There will be no realization (definitely not publicly) of lack of popularity amongst the die-hard public unionists, progressives, and other fellow travelers. They will double down on such things as blaming the Koch Brothers, Bilderbergers, the Trilateral Commission, and what-have-you.

Reality check courtesy of the great and powerful Meep over at the tremendous Conservative Commune.

Hey, the Right scored a nice little win last night.   But this is just a single battle in the war for 2012.  The Left is just deluded enough to think that it’s their communication that’s screwed up, not their actual shitty policies. 

I guess what I’m trying to say is:  Buck up conservatives.  This ain’t over by a damn sight.

Posted in Chuckles | Tagged: , , , , | 5 Comments »

Out of Gas; No Posts For The Evening

Posted by KingShamus on May 17, 2012

Sorry guys.

Rough week at work, haven’t gotten a lot of sleep, using sentence fragments to express myself.

Yeah, I’m kinda shot.

I might be on teh Twitterz for a bit, but then I’m calling it a day.

I’ll also do better visiting my homies on their sites.  Like I said, it’s been a little taxing these past few days.

Okay, since I suck today I may as well post something cool.  Here’s one of the best Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes ever.

“If the first ten minutes are any indication, this movie’s gonna blow!”

Nighty-night, homies.  See you later.

UPDATE:  Folks, this week just will not end.  I’ve got a lot of work to do, so I’ll have to catch up with ya’all later.

Sorry I suck at this blogging.

Posted in Chuckles, The Social Scene | Tagged: , , | 2 Comments »

If It’s For Free It’s For Me

Posted by KingShamus on May 15, 2012

This kid’s got it all figured out.

Homeboy has a bright future in hipster comedy ahead of him.

Posted in Chuckles | Tagged: , | Leave a Comment »

The “Sick Cents”/Anti-ObamaCare Movie Poster

Posted by KingShamus on May 10, 2012

Check it out, ya’all.

Notice who got the blurb.  Heheh.

I’m in the midst of interviewing Glenn Morton, the creator of the sinister Dr. Obamacare.  I’ll be rolling out our conversation before the premier of “The Sick Cents” next Tuesday.  Mr. Morton has a lot of insights and a few surprises too.

Posted in Chuckles, Domestic Happenings, The Social Scene | Tagged: , , | 2 Comments »

 
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