Blog de KingShamus

"When an entire nation thirsted to break free from PC…Andrew Breitbart opened a big bar."–Chris Muir

Archive for the ‘The Posts of Morale’ Category

Super Bowl 2013–Ravens Versus 49ers

Posted by KingShamus on February 3, 2013

This year’s NFL championship contest is, on paper at least, not all that exciting.  Neither team has been to the Super Bowl in a while.  While both teams have seen some success in recent years, both clubs lack the national followings of franchises like the New England Patriots or the Dallas Cowboys.

Beyond a cursory glance, Super Bowl XXXXLIQ Eleventy Gajillion has it’s share of story lines.  The head coaches for each squad are brothers.  Both teams came painfully close to getting to the Super Bowl last year only to see their seasons’ abruptly end just short of reaching the big game.  All-Universe Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis is playing in his final NFL contest.  San Francisco quarterback Colin Kaepernick is starting in his eleventh NFL match.  Seen that way, it turns out there’s a lot to latch onto for casual fans and die-hard football watchers alike.

Besides the human interest aspects, the two teams play decidedly different styles.  Specifically, their offensive philosophies have little in common with each other.  Joe Flacco, the underrated Baltimore quarterback, is a concrete birdbath when he  drops back into the pocket.  He’s not particularly mobile,  but he’s got a Howitzer where his right arm should be.  Flacco can accurately deliver bombs at any time to anywhere on the field.  More importantly, he comes into this game playing the best football of his life.

Flacco is the field general for an offense that relies on talented wide receivers like Torrey Smith and Anquan Boldin as well as stand-out running back Ray Rice to make big plays both in the air and on the ground.  While the Ravens attack has guys like Dennis Pitta, a tight end that causes match-up problems for defenders, it is still a more or less traditional NFL system.  Watchers of the game will recognize most of the Ravens’ offensive formations and plays.

On the other side of the field, Colin Kaepernick is for all intents and purposes a rookie playing in the biggest sporting event on the planet.  Although he’s inexperienced, he’s got serious weapons like running back Frank Gore, tight end Vernon Davis and wideout Michael Crabtree.  Kaepernick leads a dynamic offense that employs the read-option and the pistol formation.  The pistol makes it very hard for defenses to understand what the offense is about to do.  Because it can be used for running plays or passing  attempts, the defense cannot simply assume a run or pass is coming at them.

The pistol is even more devastating when paired with read-option plays.  The read-option means that on running plays the quarterback can read the defense to determine his next move.  He can elect to hand the ball off to his running back or keep it himself and take it upfield.  Here again, the key is confusing the defense to keep them from pinning back their ears and attacking whoever has the ball.

As great as these systems are for the offense, all the  misdirection borne from them comes at a price.  By using the read-option and the pistol, teams put their quarterback in a position to take punishing hits.  As the quarterback is by far the most important player on the field, this is the ultimate high risk/high reward strategy.

There is no guarantee that Colin Kaepernick will be able to play the same way next year.  Hell, there’s no guarantee that Kaepernick will be capable of performing at a top level next week.  Mobile quarterbacks are not known for their durability.  Just ask Michael Vick or Robert Griffin III how easy it is to stay healthy when regularly being flattened by psychotic 300 pound physical freaks.

Besides the risk of massive career-ending injuries to the team’s key offensive player, the read-option and pistol are not unknowable puzzles.  Defensive coordinators across the league are already studying it.  Eventually, they’ll solve the riddle as they always do with every new offensive scheme that comes out.  It’s one thing to only have seven or eight days to prepare for the pistol/read-option’s trickery.  It’s quite another to have seven or eight months to study formations and plays.

Realistically, San Francisco better win the Super Bowl today.  This season, the 49ers benefited from having an insanely-gifted athlete playing at the top of his game leading a previously-unknown offensive scheme that few teams have been able to stop.  Next year, it’s very possible that none of those advantages will be applicable to the team.

To me, this year’s Super Bowl hinges on this question:  Can the Baltimore Ravens defense, lead by aging veterans like Ed Reed and Ray Lewis, contain Kaepernick and all the gadgets that San Francisco employs?  I have my doubts.  The Ravens pass rush has been spotty during the playoffs.  I’m not sure they can go after Kaepernick with just their down lineman and get to him.  If they can’t at least put him on ground a few times, it’s going to be a very long day for Baltimore.

Ultimately, this means that Joe Flacco and the Ravens offense will have to match Frisco’s offensive output.  That might be very difficult.  While the Niner’s defense has been shaky in recent games, it’s less flawed than Baltimore’s.  I think San Francisco can get to Flacco.  Perhaps not on a regular basis, but enough to knock him off his rhythm.

That leads me to think that San Francisco will win this game.  I see it ending in something like 30-24 or 28-20 in the 49ers’ favor.  Since I’m so good at predictions, this means you should bet on the Ravens.

From an emotional level, I don’t care for either team.  It’s amazing how Ray Lewis is a beloved figure in the NFL even though he mentions his love of Jesus every five seconds, but Tim Tebow’s much less demonstrative proclamations of Christian faith have made him a divisive figure in sports media and in the larger culture.  Also, I don’t know how the pious spiritual leader act fits with Lewis’ deep involvement in an unsolved double murder.

On the other hand, San Francisco head coach Jim Harbaugh is an unrepentant asshole even by NFL head coaching standards.  When he won against  Detroit, he started a fight with Lions coach Jim Schwartz because he’ had to be a trash talking shit-heel.  When he lost to the Giants last year in the NFC championship game, he refused to do a post-game interview and take his licks like a man.  When things are going his way, Jim Harbaugh is a classless sore winner.  When his team is defeated, he’s a classless sore loser.  Basically, Harbaugh is a younger less likable Bill Belichick with fewer accusations of cheating and no championship rings.

If I had to pick a team, I guess I’d root for the Ravens if only because it would be fun to watch Harbaugh, football’s latest overgrown playground doucherocket, take yet another brutal loss.  Is that petty?  Yes.  But it’s the National Football League we’re talking about here.  If we didn’t have silly small-minded peeves to nurse, we wouldn’t have a league in the first place.

You know what else is great about football?  Cheerleaders.  Lots and lots of cheerleaders.  Let’s take a look at a few, shall we?

The Ladies Of The Baltimore Ravens









The San Francisco 49ers’ cheering squad







Posted in The Posts of Morale, The Sporting Life | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Music Monday Corgan – “Panopticon” by The Smashing Pumpkins

Posted by KingShamus on January 7, 2013

Here’s a song I overlooked last year.  My bad.

This little ditty is taken from The Smashing Pumpkins’ latest full-length disc Oceania, which came out in 2012.

Lead Smasher Billy Corgan can be such an arrogant doucherocket, even by platinum-selling guitar hero standards.  He’s never really matched the consistent high quality of the Gish/Siamese Dream/Mellon Collie era.  He had a seriously lame mid-period lull in the late 90’s/early 2000’s because he had to over-analyze and over-produce every single idea that breezed through his head.  He somehow alienated the ultra-adorable Paz Lenchantin when she was in his other band Zwan.

But when Corgan nails a song, it’s amazing how good it is.  Forget about his big radio hits.  That’s hunting cows with a grenade launcher.  Homeboy designed the singles to be irresistible earworms.

How do you know BC is talented?  Look at some of the Pumpkin’s deeper tracks.  “Tristessa” filters a bit of punk rock simplicity through Jimmy Page’s cranked Marshall stacks with excellent results.  “Geek USA” is exuberant rock music that doesn’t fall into Corgan’s hyper-cerebral trappings.  Da Punkins somehow figure out a way to simultaneously celebrate and mock the mopey goth-kid ethos in the woefully underrated “Here Is No Why“.

The Smashing Pumpkins’ enduring genius was, and still is, the ability to meld hippy-dippy kumbaya dreams with carefully orchestrated heavy rock riffs.  From what I’ve heard of Oceania, Billy Corgan might just be ready to embrace this legacy rather than run away from it.  I’m still not sold on SP version 3.0–or is it 4.0?–but still, “Panopticon” is pretty great.

One More Thing:  Billy Corgan has a habit of hiring lady bass players.  Why not run through a partial list?

Darcy Wretzky

Darcy Wretzky

Darcy, again


Melissa Auf Der Maur

Melissa Auf Der Maur with Bass

Melissa Auf Der Maur

Ginger Pooley

Ginger Pooley 1

Ginger Pooley 2

Ginger Pooley

Nicole Fiorentino

Nicole Fiorentino

Nicole Fiorentino1

Paz Lenchantin




Does this count as a Rule Five post?

Posted in Music Monday, The Posts of Morale | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

“The Last Stand” Trailer and Jaimie Alexander

Posted by KingShamus on January 4, 2013

Oh look, Arnold Schwarzenegger is back making movies again.

I guess he’s been back at it since “The Expendables”, but this is the first post-Governator film where he’s the lead.  At least that I can remember.  Whatevs.

My inner 8th grader wants to like Arnold as an action movie dude again.  His work from “Conan the Barbarian” to right around the mid-90’s is pretty much untouchable.  On the other hand, his running of California was damn near impeachable.  Ahhhnold ran as the anti-Gray Davis, then proceeded to become…Gray Davis.

On the other other hand, a sixty-five year old guy is trying to do what he does best.  Fine.  Good luck with that, homie.

Co-starring with Schwarzenegger is up and coming actress Jaimie Alexander.  She’s best known from the Thor flick that came out a while back.  And, yeah, she’s kinda cute.

Jaimie Alexander

Jaimie Alexander, one more time

Jaimie Alexander, nice pins

Jaimie Alexander again

Jaimie Alexander, enabling alcoholism

So this woman is an up and coming actress who is not shy about her looks or her drinking habits.

Fair enough.

But I have to draw the line at dog-eating.

Jaimie Alexander dog eater

For shame, Jaimie Alexander.  For shame.

I posted pics of this attractive lady for many reasons.  Mostly because Manhattan Infidel and Bunkerville gave me crap about the lack of Rule Five posts lately.  What can I say?  I succumb to peer pressure.

Posted in Celebutards!, The Posts of Morale | Tagged: , , , , | 5 Comments »

Lets Look At The Ladies of The Expendables 2

Posted by KingShamus on August 14, 2012

I know I haven’t been good about posting lately.  Some have complained about the lack of posts.  Some have been horrified by the Hill-Dawg gif I put into the last post.

I get it.

I done wrong.

Let me make it up to you.

Say, you know what’s coming out soon?

“The Expendables 2″, naturally.

Hows about we watch the trailer?


Amazing stuff.  I realize trailers can be deceptive, but hear me out.  I think this will be the ‘Quirky Wes Anderson-inspired story with a lot of talking and emotional depth’ installment in the Expendables franchise.

Not really.

I think this flick is going to win the coveted “Most Explosions in A Non-Michael Bay Film” and “Highest Body Count” Academy Awards.

Which means it’s going to be awesome.

But let’s not just focus on the testosterone-fueled carnage, the hyperdrive fisticuffs or the severe lack of gun control in “Expendables 2″.  Perhaps we can get in touch with this action movie’s softer side.  I say we take a look at the ladies of this here motion picture.


Nan Yu








Nikolette Noel









And last, but certainly not least, Charisma Carpenter.







Well, I know I feel a lot better.


Posted in The Posts of Morale, The Social Scene | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Important New Dining Trend

Posted by KingShamus on June 29, 2012


Yes.  Breastaurants.

The waitresses at Twin Peaks wear skimpy plaid tops that accentuate their chests. In case you didn’t catch the joke, the chain’s logo is an image of two pointy, snow-capped mountains. And the sports bar doesn’t stop there: It promises “scenic views.”

Twin Peaks owner Randy DeWitt downplays all of that and insists that the appeal of the restaurant goes beyond the obvious. Hearty meals and a focus on making customers feel special, he says, are what really keeps them coming back.

“We believe in feeding the ego before feeding the stomach,” he says. Or as the website of the mountain lodge-themed restaurant states, “Twin Peaks is about you, `cause you’re the man!”

Twin Peaks is part of a booming niche in the beleaguered restaurant industry known as “breastaurants,” or sports bars that feature scantily clad waitresses. These small chains operate in the tradition of Hooters, which pioneered the concept in the 1980s but has struggled in recent years to stay fresh.

…The nation’s top three “breastaurant” chains behind Hooters each had sales growth of 30 percent or more last year, according to Technomic, a food industry research firm. They still represent less than 1 percent of the nation’s top restaurants, but the upstart chains are benefitting as other mid-priced options like Applebee’s and Bennigan’s have experienced declines during the economic downturn.

Look, I think we on the conservative side of the political spectrum need to face up to a hard truth.  I’m sorry I have to break the news.  Its going to be tough, but we right-wing free-marketeers have to own this fact:  Capitalism can be gauche.

Gauchely awesome, that is.

But I sense you don’t really believe me about this breastaurant craze.

“Surely, this must be some kind of joke,” you say to me in an accusatory tone.

“It’s not a joke.  And don’t call me Shirley,” I answer.

But still, your skepticism is well-founded.  I mean, the original article is from some National Public Radio affiliate.  They’re not exactly an ironclad source of truthful information.  Can you or I just take their word on this?  Of course not.  After all, you’re an inquisitive readership.  All ten of the people who subscribe to this blog are going to want more than just baseless assertions of this trend in American dining.

You want proof.  Concrete evidence.  Preferably in picture form.

That is perfectly understandable.  I get it.  In fact, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Exhibit A:  Here’s some of the lovely ladies of The Titled Kilt.

“That’s interesting,” you say, “but it’s just one restaurant chain full of teh hotness.  You’ll have to do better than that.”

Ask and ye shall receive, BDKS homies,

Exhibit B:  Take a gander at the Twin Peaks 2011 calendar.

For scientific purposes, of course.

I hope this pictorial look at this growing American dining innovation was informative and educational.

You’re welcome.

Thanks to the one and only Stephon Starberry for the tip.  Much appreciated, mi amigo.  Very much.

UPDATE:  Linked my the magnificent Daley Gator blog.  They’re celebrating their 4th Blog Birthday, so scoot on over and give them a blogaversary shout-out

Posted in Domestic Happenings, The Posts of Morale | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments »

New Movie News–“The Watch”, featuring Cathy Shim and Rosemarie DeWitt ( #RuleFive )

Posted by KingShamus on June 22, 2012

Ben Stiller, Jonah Hill and Vince Vaughn on their own are capable of funny movies. “Superbad”, “Wedding Crashers” and “Meet The Parents” are a few of the best comedies of the last 15 years.  Hopefully they don’t lose the magic when they get together.  Their new movie “The Watch” comes out July 27th.  Here’s the trailer.

Could be decent, although the red band trailer (NSFW) shows us a movie that might be both funnier and more disgusting than the g-rated preview led us to believe.

Anyhoo, it doesn’t look like there’s a lot of eye candy going on.  Only two gals are mentioned in the cast.  That’s sort of a head-scratcher.   In a sci-fi comedy, you really can’t go wrong with five or six hotties running around.

Oh well.  We might as well take a look and see whats doin’ here.

Rosemarie DeWitt





Cathy Shim






Okay.  I take it all back.  Cathy Shim is fairly rockin’.

Enjoy, everybody!

Posted in The Posts of Morale | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Ladies Downhill Skateboarding Awesomeness

Posted by KingShamus on May 3, 2012

I know I post a lot of cheesecake pics.  What can I say?  I’m an insensitive jerk with a stunted capacity to experience genuine emotional connections with others.

So it falls to the great Theo Spark to find videos of hot ladies not just sitting around looking pretty but doing insanely cool athletic-type shizznit as well.

That’s some pretty amazing stuff.  What makes it really amazing is how they’re basically taking it easy.  They weren’t exactly racing.  For them, that was just a nice relaxing practice run.  For most of the rest of the world, what they did would be a white-knuckle teeth-clenched fear fest followed by a 25 mph face plant.

By the way, don’t try this shit at home.  Or away from home. It’s dangerous and road-rash takes a long time to heal.  Unless you like pulling chunks of asphalt out of your asscheek.

Posted in The Posts of Morale, The Sporting Life | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 7 Comments »

Security Getting A Little Too Friendly With Bar Refaeli

Posted by KingShamus on April 18, 2012

Because a 26 year old Israeli supermodel is an obvious security threat.

She is currently enjoying a trip overseas which has included a visit to London.  But things have gone a little awry for jetsetter Bar Refaeli, who claims she was violated by a security officer at an airport.

The Israel supermodel tweeted about the ordeal to her fans, explaining that a female officer went a little too far with a routine patdown.

…’I got a security “patdown” by a woman at the airport that made me feel very uncomfortable and left no doubt about her sexual preferences,’ she wrote on the social networking site.

The article is sorta coy about what airport this occured in–I’m assuming it’s Heathrow or some other airport in Britain–so I dunno if we can file this under ‘Tales Of The Overzealous TSA”.

For purely diagnostic purposes, I’ll post a pic of Ms. Refaeli just to help us understand how this travesty of justice happened.

Yeah, this is a very mysterious case.

Perhaps further research is necessary.

Posted in Foreign doings, Media Silliness, The Posts of Morale | Tagged: , , | 7 Comments »

Lets Get To Know Malaika Arora Khan

Posted by KingShamus on March 24, 2012

Who is she?

Malaika is a prominent model, actress and television host in the Bollywood scene.  When MTV India was getting it’s start, she was one of that network’s first VJ’s.  Since then, she has appeared in numerous advertisements, television programs and big budget Indian cinema.  You can also read all about her Christmas plans (she’s Catholic) here. 

She’s also easy on the eyes.   












Well, that’s it ya’all.


Posted in The Posts of Morale | Tagged: , , | 4 Comments »

Super Bowl 2012

Posted by KingShamus on February 5, 2012

Well, for a football season that almost didn’t happen, this year has been a helluva ride.  The lockout might’ve put a scare into players, owners and fans, but once it was over the NFL put the rocky offseason behind it in short fashion.  The 2011 Super Bowl winners, the Green Bay Packers, had a dominating 15-1 record only to lose in the second round of the playoffs.  Teams like the Detroit Lions and the Oakland Raiders, who both have long histories of losing, were finally competitive and have potential to be strong in the future.

After a great season, it makes sense that this year’s Super Bowl is full of drama.  The 2011-2012 edition of the New England Patriots features a high-powered offense led by All-Universe quarterback Tom Brady. Most teams have one fair to good tight ends.  The Pats are blessed with two spectacular TE’s; Rob Gronkowski and Aaron Hernandez both had insanely productive seasons.  Wes Welker is one of the more dangerous wide receivers in the NFL.  As usual head coach Bill Belichick has his hydra-headed running back attack of Danny Woodhead, Benjarvus Green-Ellis and Stevan Ridley, which allows him to plug in three guys into the position and keep all of them rested.

What New England doesn’t have is a lock-down defense.  With the exception of  Vince Wilfork, there aren’t a lot of bona-fide stars on the Patriots’ defensive team.  This is somewhat surprising, as Belichick made his NFL reputation as a defensive mastermind.

The New York Giants are in the Super Bowl, but at times during the year it was doubtful whether they’d make it to the playoffs.  From mid-November to mid-December, the G-men lost five out of six games.  During that swoon, head coach Tom Coughlin was allegedly headed for the unemployment line.  Whispers of a rebuilding effort in the offseason were heard.  Player grumblings and dissention was a factor.  Instead of slouching towards a January tee time, the Giants rattled off five straight victories and turned what could’ve easily been an epic failure into a potential Super Bowl victory.

Emphasis on ‘potential’.  In the Patriots, New York faces unique challenges.  The Giants pass rush is a dangerous weapon that has proven that it can get to any quarterback in the league.  However, stopping the run is not their strong suit.  Even their pass defense has some holes.  If the Giants aren’t putting pressure on the passer, their secondary can be overwhelmed and end up burned for big plays.

It looks like the Super Bowl will come down to the match-up between the Patriots offense versus the Giants defense.  If the Giants are hitting and sacking Tom Brady, the Patriots are in for a long game.  If Brady and Bellichik can mix in the run and pass and keep the Giants on their heels, the Patriots have the talent and weapons that could turn this game into a New England route.

I could also see special teams factoring in here.  The Giants are not known for their great special teams play.  Lawrence Tynes can hit a clutch field goal, but he doesn’t have the strongest leg on kick-offs.  Even if New England doesn’t run back a kick-off for a touchdown, they could get serious yardage on kick-offs which would set up their offense on short fields.  On the other hand, Bill Bellichik has been known to take risks if he thinks he can catch the other team off-guard.  Fake punts, onside kicks; the whole gamut of trick plays could be possible in this match-up.

My long-running support of the New York Football Giants is hampering my normally completely fool-proof football prognostication skills [sarc/].  My heart wants the Gints to snag their second Super Bowl in four years.  My head tells me that the Giants defense is superior to the Patriots defense, which should be enough to secure a New York victory.  My pessimistic streak–located somewhere in my bunions–says that since everyone on the planet seems to be picking the Giants, New England could sneak out a victory.

I really don’t know about the game.  I’m too much of a fan to really look at this objectively and make a pick.  I do know that I like cheerleaders, though.  Lots and lots of cheerleaders.

Enjoy the Super Bowl, homies.  And the girls too.

Posted in Domestic Happenings, The Posts of Morale, The Social Scene, The Sporting Life | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments »

‘Friends With Benefits’, Starring Mila Kunis

Posted by KingShamus on July 15, 2011

“Friends With Benefits” looks like a pretty interesting movie.  But I thought Hollywood already put this movie out with Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman called “No Strings Attached”.  Oh well.

La-La Land is a more egregious copycat league than the NFL.  Remember the  ‘A Bug’s Life’/ ‘Antz’ goofiness back in the 90’s?  The ‘FWB’/’NSA’  similarities are not all that shocking.

Oh well, here’s the trailer:

I dunno.  Could be decent, but it probably won’t be.  I know it’s Rated R, but that doesn’t mean much.  It seems like it would be just a slightly more explicit chick flick.  No thanks.

But Mila Kunis might be hot enough to change my angry overtestosteroned mind.  Check it out.







See what I’m talkin’ about?

This isn’t my first post highlighting the intense gorgeousness of Mila Kunis, and I am absolutely positively sure it won’t be my last.

Posted in The Posts of Morale | Tagged: , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Rule Five-Paz De La Huerta

Posted by KingShamus on June 30, 2011





Yes, I stole the pic from the Daily Mail.  Yes, I’ve been on a Daily Mail kick today.  Sue me.

Posted in The Posts of Morale | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

‘Cowboys and Aliens’ Vixen Ana De La Reguera

Posted by KingShamus on June 4, 2011

‘Cowboys and Aliens’ is an action-y western sci-fi film coming out on July 29th.  There has been some favorable-sounding buzz about it for a while, but this is one of those movies where the concept is better than the flick itself.  It feels like the the pitch for this went something like, “Cowboys are cool. Aliens are cool.  Put ’em together and you get double the coolness! Am I right? [nerdsnort/]”‘

Having said all that, the movie looks like it has a few things going for it.  I liked Daniel Craig as James Bond and I think this kind of terse strong silent type of role suits his acting style.   I’m kinda getting tired of Olivia Wilde’s douchey politics–her character on “House” is becoming an annoying liberal jilly one note–but damn if she doesn’t look hotter than the sun as usual.  Most interesting, the trailer is full of promise.  

What it seems like they’re doing is setting up the old ‘Mysterious stranger comes into town, promptly fucks the bad guy’s shit up’ story line.  Then the aliens swoop in and make with the creepy abductions and explosive laser blasts and what-not, throwing the classic Western narrative thing they had going for a loop.  As you’re watching this play out, you may have an idea of how the flick is supposed to resolve the conflict.  At the same time you don’t know exactly how the movie is going to go because you don’t have a template in your head for a movie about cowboys dealing with outer space sci-fi stuff.

At least, that’s what it seems like they’re going for here.  I could be wrong.

If they can pull that juxtaposition off, then they might have a really great movie on their hands.

Now, as I said before, Olivia Wilde is brain-meltingly sexxxy but I’m kinda meh about her lately.  I’ve seen her character do a lot of stupid annoying crap on “House”.  I don’t know why, but Wilde’s portrayal of Thirteen seems designed to make me think she’s the pretty girl who says dumb things and you’re supposed to humor her because she’s cute.  Yawn.

So instead of posting pics of Olivia Wilde, let’s take a gander at one of the supporting characters from “Cowboys and Aliens”.  I give you the lovely Ana De La Reguera.













Listen.  I know this is a lot of cheesecake, but you have to understand something.  I’ve been writing about Anthony Weiner’s cock shot for the better part of a week.  I had to post pics of a scantily clad hot chick or this blog was going to become gayer than a West Hollywood bathhouse.

Posted in The Posts of Morale, The Social Scene | Tagged: , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Rehabing Syria’s First Dictatorial Lady

Posted by KingShamus on April 21, 2011

Our new blog homie Sitting On The Edge Of The Sandbox brings us news on Asma al-Assad, the First Lady of Syria.  Specifically, Vogue Magazine did a happy little profile on Chinless Bashar’s wife.  There’s a lot of clap-trap to sort through in the Vogue piece, so I’ll just snag the quote Edge used. 

In the Saint Paul orphanage, maintained by the Melkite–Greek Catholic patriarchate and run by the Basilian sisters of Aleppo, Asma sits at a long table with the children. […]

Back in the car, I ask what religion the orphans are. “It’s not relevant,” says Asma al-Assad. “Let me try to explain it to you. That church is a part of my heritage because it’s a Syrian church. The Umayyad Mosque is the third-most-important holy Muslim site, but within the mosque is the tomb of Saint John the Baptist. We all kneel in the mosque in front of the tomb of Saint John the Baptist. That’s how religions live together in Syria—a way that I have never seen anywhere else in the world. We live side by side, and have historically. All the religions and cultures that have passed through these lands—the Armenians, Islam, Christianity, the Umayyads, the Ottomans—make up who I am.”

Wow.  That’s a beautiful kumbaya moment.  The open-mindedness on display here is heart-warming.  Obviously, this statement of tolerance is of a piece with the mindset of the entire Assad Regime Hugs-n-Kisses Joy Boner Fun Zone.

Thousands of demonstrators in Syrian cities hit the streets after Friday prayers in another week of anti-government rallies, angry but largely peaceful outpourings of protest against the Bashar al-Assad regime.

The gatherings come as a prominent humanitarian watchdog group issued a report detailing “torture and ill-treatment” of protesters over the past month, and U.N. human rights experts released a statement deploring the crackdown on peaceful demonstrations.

Detainees arrested during the protests told Human Rights Watch that officers from the intelligence services, or the Mukhabarat, beat them during arrests and in detention. They saw beatings of dozens of detainees, including children, and “heard screams of people being beaten.”

See?  Just like I said.  There is so much tolerance going on in Syria that it hurts.

Knowing just how brutal and repressive the Assad kleptocracy is, why the hell is Vogue Magazine doing puff pieces on Bashar’s wife?  I don’t recall Vogue doing multipage interviews with Saddam Hussein’s wives.  What gives here?

Well, for one thing, Asma al-Assad speaks English.  In fact, she was born and raised in England after her family emigrated out of Syria.  For the multi-culti leftism of an Anna Wintour-run magazine, it’s a big help that Syria’s dictatorette talks the same language as the interviewer.

But that’s just a side benefit.  The main reason why Asma gets the softball treatment is because she’s cute and she’s a fashionista who wears expensive clothes.  Who cares if Mrs. Assad stays in shape by roughing up political prisoners in a Damascus dungeon?  She looks great, doesn’t she?  I’m sure it’ll be the workout program du jour for all the beautiful people.   

More seriously, it seems pretty clear that Vogue really doesn’t give a shit if Asma al-Assad can afford all those top designer outfits only because her husband is a Baathist goon who has robbed his country to pad his personal wealth.  I guess that tragic fact is of no concern to Vogue.  It only matters that this pretty little fascist says all the right PC platitudes.

Also, and this might be sorta douchey on my part, but she’s not even the prettiest Middle Eastern First Lady out there.  If you want a real beauty in a position of power from an Arab country, I give you the one and only Queen Rania of Jordan.




I told you so.

Posted in Foreign doings, Media Silliness, The Posts of Morale | Tagged: , , , , , | 11 Comments »

The Babes Of “Fast Five”

Posted by KingShamus on April 16, 2011

The latest epic masterpiece from the two great thespians of our time, Vin Diesel and Paul Walker, is finally here.  Fast Five continues the story of the last four Fast and Furious films and it promises action, hot cars, thrills and all the wooden dialogue delivered in a gravelly monotone from ‘roided up meatheads you can handle. I don’t know about you guys, but I’m stoked.

Really, it won’t be as bad as all that.  These movies don’t pretend to be turgid Harold Pinter character studies, so you really can’t hate on them being kinda dumb.  I rail on Vin Diesel sometimes, but the guy is utterly believable as a criminal goon.  If the point of acting is to convince the audience that a character is who he says he is in the film, then Diesel is perfect in these flicks.  Paul Walker looks like a Gap model more than an actor, but even his stilted clunky performance seems to work in the Fast-n-Furious setting.

So go to Fast Five, I say.  Watch it on it’s own terms.  If it ends up sucking, it’ll be because it doesn’t work as an action/caper flick, not because it isn’t The Seventh Seal

Anyhoo, the best part of  the Fast series isn’t the cars.  The stories barely exist, so they can’t be the big draw.  It ain’t the action sequences either.  No, it’s the babes.  Without any further half-assed movie critic throat-clearing, bring on the chicks.

Jordana Brewster


Elsa Pataky



Gal Gadot


Okee-dokee, homies.  That’s it for now.  Enjoy the hotties!

Posted in The Posts of Morale | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments »

Rule Five Brasilia Edition: Raica Oliveira, Cleo Pires, Natalia Anderle, Camila Rodrigues, Morena Baccarin

Posted by KingShamus on March 26, 2011

Brazil.  It’s not just the home of a very specific kind of waxing or blow-out.  No, Gentle Reader, Brazil has more to offer than it’s various hair treatments.  I know this is going to come as a shock to many of you, but Brazil has been known to have a few attractive women.     

I wanna let you all know something:  I had a really hard time finding hot Brazilian chicks.  As you can all imagine, it was utter torture.  But I went through that misery for the most important people in the world–my readers.

I just hope you appreciate the sacrifices I make for you.

Anyhoooo, on to the cheesecake!

Raica Oliveira

Cleo Pires

Natalia Anderle

Camila Rodrigues

Morena Baccarin


UPDATE:  Big up to The Daley Gator for hooking us up with some linky love and a nice Gator-lanche to boot.  Thanks to all the Gator-Fans who stopped by.  Come back any time.

As for my readers, I highly reccommend you take a gander at The Daley Gator’s Rule Five Mega-Post.  It’s awesome.

Posted in The Posts of Morale | Tagged: , , , , , , | 11 Comments »

Source Code Trailer starring the luscious Michelle Monaghan

Posted by KingShamus on March 6, 2011

First up, the trailer.

This has a chance to be cool.  I know Jake Gyllenlenalenahall is a pretty princess.  You also get the vibe that this is a ‘soft’ sci-fi concept ala “Quaatum Leap“, which is meant to appeal more to the gals than the dude nerdlingtons.  Romantic future-y action stuff can be really tough to make into something not-shitty. 

So yeah, that’s kinda bad.  But the movie has at least one good feature.

I give you Michelle Monaghan.

You’re welcome, folks.

Posted in The Posts of Morale | Tagged: , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Super Bowl 2011

Posted by KingShamus on February 6, 2011

So it’s Da Stillers versus The Pack.

Interesting contest, for sure.  Much has been made of the defensive coordinators for the two clubs.  Both Dom Capers and Dick LeBeau are products of the same Bill Cowher/Pittsburgh coaching tribe.  Both coaches believe in very similar philosophies based around a hyperkinetic blitz-heavy attack.  Most importantly, both coaches have the kind of scary talent necessary to make their high-risk defensive schemes work.

On the other side of the ball, Pittsburgh and Green Bay have quarterbacks who can play with anyone on the planet.  Ben Roethlisburger is personally repellent, but there is no denying his immense talent.  His ability to hang tough while getting clobbered by the opposition and still make a big play is amazing.  On the other hand, Aaron Rodgers is making a lot of folks in Wisconsin forget all about that Favre guy.  The man can make yardage with his feet or with his cannon arm.  More importantly, he’s playing his best football just at the right time. 

For me, the key to this game is how each defense reacts to their opposing quarterback.  Green Bay will win this game if they can somehow turn Rofflburger’s strength–extending the play–into a weakness.  When a play breaks down, Big Ben’s instinct is to try to kill the enemy with a big yardage strike.  If the Packers can fool Roethlisburger into thinking there are openings, then close them up with a sack or an interception, it will be devastating to the Steelers offense. 

On the other hand, Pittsburgh will win this game if they can turn Aaron Rodgers and the Green Bay offense into a one-dimensional pocket-passing attack.  The Packers are going to want to be able to run in this contest.  The Steelers are monsters against the rush.  If the Pack cannot run and at least make the Stiller D have to think about their all-out blitzes, Green Bay will have a very hard time winning the Super Bowl.

If I was to hazard a guess, I’d say Green Bay wins this thing by a touchdown.  That means you should bet the farm on the Steelers because I suck at football predictions.

And now, on to the most important part of this post–the girls.

Enjoy the game, homies!

Posted in Domestic Happenings, The Posts of Morale, The Social Scene | Tagged: , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Smokin’ blonde Amber Heard will star in Hunter S. Thompson’s “Rum Diary”

Posted by KingShamus on January 17, 2011

I didn’t read it but I hear good things.  Maybe this has a chance of being cool.

I dug “Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas” when it came out.  The drug-fueled insanity and Terry Gilliam’s studied weirdness worked.  That and it was funny as hell watching Johnny Depp and Benicio Del Toro stumble around huffing ether.

In any case, “The Rum Diary” doesn’t come out till October so we’ll have to wait a bit to see if this is any good.

What I do know is that Amber Heard, the female lead in the flick, is pretty easy on the eyes.

Don’t believe me?  Well, why don’t we take a gander at some pics to see if I’m right.

See, I was right.


UPDATE:  Yeah, the old headline was lame as hell.  As per the great Other McCain–who has a neat piece on the Tuscon Shooter-Douche, I’ve changed the title of this here hot chick post.

UPDATE II:  Welcome welcome The Other McCain readers!  Come on in, make youselves at home and enjoy the other menu items I’ve got here.  Big ups to RS McCain, who continues to rule.

Posted in The Posts of Morale | Tagged: , , , , , , | 8 Comments »

The Return Of V

Posted by KingShamus on January 4, 2011

In case some of you haven’t heard of the show, ST Karnick at Big Hollywood has a nice summary/reminder.

After a long hiatus, ABC’s sci-fi drama series V returns to the network’s regular lineup tonight at 8 EST. It’s a show well worth watching. Based rather loosely on a 1980s limited-run series from NBC, the new show tells the story of the coming of a large group of extraterrestrials to the earth and the world’s reaction to them. In the twelve episodes of season 1, the aliens presented themselves to the world as interested only in making things better for mankind, offering us new technologies and healing abilities. The aliens are all physically attractive, and the great majority look like humans in their twenties and thirties.

That, of course, was just their public face; in reality, it soon became clear, they are ugly and reptilian under their human skins and have an agenda to exploit humanity in some way, either as slaves or as food or both, or perhaps some even worse and more horrible fashion. And a small group of people have divined this agenda and set up a small, loose, but dedicated resistance organization.

Central to the narrative is the resistance against an intrusive government that claims to be for nothing but the good of humanity but is in fact pursuing sinister, elitist, and exploitative hidden agendas. As such, the show makes a strong commentary on contemporary political issues and constitutes one of the most frankly libertarian TV series seen in many years. In addition, it suggests strong approval of religion, specifically Christianity, in a way that makes the resistance group a spot-on analogue to the current-day Tea Party movement.

Read the rest of Karnick’s piece as it gets you caught up on Season 1 in preparation for tonight’s debut performance.

One other thing I get out from the series is how evil takes it shape.

Take a look at the V’s leader Anna, played by Morena Baccarin.

Anna is, to put it bluntly, insanely hot.  Her otherworldly beauty is a mass of contradictions; tightly cropped hair framing a very feminine face, skin-tight clothes on a female leader.  Her sensuality initially lures in both the human characters within the program and the viewers.  This attraction happens even though it’s clear the aliens have malevolent intentions.

In fiction, the best bad guys are the ones that you are both attracted to and repulsed by.  Darth Vader is a murderous bastard, but he’s got bad-ass skills, a fly wardrobe and an ice-cold demeanor.  He’s an intimidating presence, but he’s also cool as hell when he force-chokes some random jag off.  On some level, that combination of power and attitude is alluring, even as you recoil from Vader’s actions.

In real life, the most effective form of malice are those that are beautiful.  Nearly everyone is instinctively repelled by ugly things.  A hideous inhuman horror can only win a very limited following.  Evil does the most damage when it takes a sexy form.  The beautiful monster is far more tempting than the misshapen troll.

The dark side’s true form is exploitation, insanity, fear, hate and death.  These things are repellent to the better angels of our nature.  When evil cloak’s itself in fairness, an even keel, courage, love and life, it is appeals to all the best parts of civilization.

To cite a political example, socialism has a long history of oppression and mass-murder.  How do the proponents of socialism characterize the movement?  It’s life-affirming.  It’s truly just.  It’s a moral system.  It will create a better humanity than the old dirty free market democracies of the past.  Socialism, like every other evil thing, gives itself a sexy makeover in order to fool people into believing the lie.

Oh yeah, and Morena Baccarin is insanely hot. 

Wait, did I say that already?

Posted in The Posts of Morale, The Social Scene | Tagged: , , , | 6 Comments »


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